21 replies to this topic

[Kevin Blankenship]

Today, I have been pondering the issue that I have heard mentioned in several places. Here is the issue:

  Can a man or woman REALLY change??? I mean.,.....REALLY?   No, I don't mean....stop drinking/ smoking/ looking at porn. 

   How I define CHANGE is this:   If a person is tempermental, quick to flash out in anger when fellow drivers  do stupid things....can he/she change???  Let's say that a man grows up during the Great Depression and now, even though he has in excess of a million dollars in the bank......he will still climb over the gate just to keep the hinges from wearing out and having to be replaced someday. ( a bit exaggerated to make my point)

  Another instance: A hypothetical person has always had great difficulty in telling the truth. No matter what the reason is.....feelings of inadequacy...... poor self image.......whatever......... Can that person change.

  Of course, it is quite easy for all of us to rush  to this thread and give a resounding "YES!!!!" And then quote scripture about transformed minds, crucified old man, etc etc etc.

 But REALLY.

   As your brother in Christ.......would you allow me to get a mite personal by asking you to testify here on this thread if God has REALLY transformed you from one type of person to another.

  See......what brought this own......my aunt, whom I love very much, but who I think is incorrect, says that people don't REALLY change.  Oh, they might lay the bottle down or the needle down, with or without God's help. But the change that she is referring to is, well......let me me a bit blunt: If a person is a "hind end", then they will ALWAYS, deep down, be a "hind end".  Or, if they are of a 'stingy (some might say frugal to sooth their conscience).......then they are always going to be stingy and the chance that any of these people will REALLY change from being stingy to being very generous and loving is so very rare as to be non-existent. 

    Now let's not turn this into a "my aunt" bashing. She is a retired school teacher, a happy member of a very liberal Cumberland Presbyterian Church, and has based her conclusion on a lifetime of observation. (she's in her mid 60's).  But now, I am asking the question. Because I instinctively and heartily disagreed with her.  So PLEASE OH PLEASE.......if this transformation has occurred in your life.....please take as many words as necessary to describe it to me/us.  The before and after. Y'all already know my story, or most of it. yes, I was a drunk and junky of the first order,   And while I am free of the grosser sins......Is sill find myself in need of a NEW HEART and a NEW MIND!!!! Not just a reformed one.  But a new one. I simply MUST have this NEW LIFE, NEW HEART, NEW MIND. If it means selling all of my toys, I ll do it in a FLASH!!!!   But I'm troubled. I do not have a burden for lost people. I do not have a love for the things that Jesus loves. I still find that I am JUST LIKE  I ALWAYS WAS!!!!  At the end of the day (so to speak).....I still live my life for what I can get out of it. Plain and simply. I REALIZE that I am sounding like a stuck record. But the facts are the facts.

   Perhaps some testimony of people who have truly and thoroughly been transformed by God ( and I don't mean 'slain in the spirit lat Sunday night at alter time......or a prophet "speaking a word" over you.)  And no, I am NOT at all against those things as I was collapsed in the Spirit one night back in the 90's and I was wholeheartedly skeptical about the phenomenon.   Thank you for your contribution ti this thread.  Wanted: A testimony about how God changed you and what you wer like before HE did.  Many thanks,  Kevin

[DonnaA]

Yes! I have seen it personally in others and I have experienced a change in my own life as I've grown into a deeper relationship/fellowship with the Lord ... I've seen some changes that were so dramatic that they could only be ascribed to that person's walk with God.  There were a lot of things I did not know about my husband until he was living out his last days ... people would come to visit and I would hear stories and just be amazed at the transformation that took place in his life before we were married.  The evidence was so powerful that people could literally see him as a LIVING testimony of God's work in his life.  He left a powerful legacy .....  As for me, I still have a lot to learn, but I'm truly thankful I'm not the person I was ten, five or even one year ago .... I'm thankful that I am STILL changing .... working out my salvation ... growing in faith ... growing in love for others ... becoming less selfish .... I'm not who I want to be, yet .... but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

[Kevin Blankenship]

Thank you Donna!!!!!! Very very well said!!!!! I genuinely appreciate that testimony.

[chipped china]

Ok, I took your advice to think about this a little. It's a big question to me and I have so many thoughts about it. I don't think my basic personality has changed but I am more patient and less extreme. That's been a tough one for me since I think I may have borderline personality disorder.(psycho babble) The Lord has given me a temperance that makes living easier because He is my Rock, my stability, and my extreme. I guess the thing that has surprised me the most is that all my life I loved animals more than most people and now I've put them into their proper place. I've never felt so much of God's love for others, and I know it's not me it's Him. I'm also surprised that many people have trouble accepting love, but that's another topic.  

[Kevin Blankenship]

Chipped China, we are more alike than you may realize (I think that I told you those same words before, but I just woke up and getting ready for my day).  I am almost positive that I have some disorders (plural).  In fact, I was detoxing in a facility in West Tennessee where my attending Psychiatrist, after probing the vast empty recesses of my mind, diagnosed me a "Bipolar Disorder" and immediately prescribed Lithium. I told him that his diagnosis might very well be skewed by the fact that I was in terrible withdrawals (in year 2000) from a THEN new drug called oxycontin.....which is simply a time-released version of an older drug called oxycodone, which is horrifically addictive.  When I went to detox, I was having to do 20 mgs every hour upon the hour simply to stave off withdrawals. And considering that I was giving $10 per 20 mg tablet, it was rapidly draining my assets.  Plus, it was wreaking havoc upon having any semblance of a normal life.  I told him (the attending Psychiatrist) that I would gladly sit for a diagnosis after opiate withdrawal had vanished (which took an amazingly long time).  This was one of the bleakest periods of my life. And it wasn't until Sept 1, 2005, that I finally "threw in the towel" and admitted complete powerlessness over any narcotics and/or cheap vodka.

   But still, after over 9 years of sobriety, my eyes have been opened to the fact that I am still powerless over anything that makes me FEEL better....ie.  buying a new metal detector (I have had MANY).....buying a new airgun (the nice one, match grade ones.....and I have had MANY).....and it seems that I know no joy unless I have a knew "toy" coming on the UPS truck.

   Many people talk about how noble (if that is the correct term) I am for keeping my mother's wishes by keeping her out of a  'home' of anykind, other than her own home, but that leaves me with plenty of time to either pore over my extensive library of Christian classics, or pore over my many editions and translations of God's Word. But, I find that, upon self examination, I am all too quick to seek my own entertainment and amusement by and with otherwise harmless THINGS.  In one of Tozer's books, The Pursuit of God, there is a chapter that applies to me SO MUCH that I wept as I read it. It is the second chapter: The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing.    He closes each chapter with a prayer. And in that prayer, he has a sentence: "Oh God, my heart fears to  give up it's toys."  I was so stricken by that prayer that I have made it my own many many many times.

   Although a self diagnosis, I am sure that I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. My brother has it bad. And two of my three sisters. And my mother had it. When I was in Elementary School, if it had been invented yet, I would have been surely diagnosed with ADHD. I graduated High School with a 73 (Low C averaging of all of my grades......one thru twelve).  I cheated on my ACT test ( I simply relied upon the law of averages and went through the test darkening the circles with a No 2 pencil in a zig zag). I was shocked to learn that I had scored a 16 on the test.  Easily scoring high enough to get into any college in Tennessee. But when I got to college, I was as lost as a puppy in a blizzard.

   Back to topic:  Peter denied his Lord, whom he claimed to have loved and would have died for/with. He ended up denying Jesus three times. But something drastic happened to Peter. On that day that they were praying in the upper room and the Holy Spirit came down.  Peter would go on to be bold enough to take many a thrashing in Jesus' name.  He was a changed man. Inside out.

   That kind of change has very obviously not happened to me yet. I keep standing on Luke 11 (How much more will your Heavenly Father give the Holy Ghost to those who ask).   Still waiting on that to happen......because in my present state, I just don't have the needed power to break free from worldy amusements.........I can't even make time to read God's Word for more than 15 or 20 mintes each day.....and I sorely fear that my heart is not even right when I DO read it.  So, I am reaching out and asking for the testimony of those who have been radically changed by the Promise of the Father......as the Holy Spirit is oft referred to in the Acts.  (that is alot to write on one cup of coffee.....)   But thanks for your reply Chipped China.  That was what I need to read this morning.

[Meema]

Okay, here goes.

 

Have you ever heard the saying, “God has no grandchildren”? This means that, as God’s children, we are never fully grown in the flesh, and just like children we are born with our own unique personalities, our own strengths and weaknesses. We come into this world hardwired with certain propensities, drives and desires. Who are we to question how the Great Creator designed us, with so many quirks? Like newborns, all of what we come loaded with can be channeled and directed to take a good path or a bad one, bear fruit or wither on the vine.

 

Though I am mature now, both physically and spiritually, I remain who and what I always was but, by grace, I was given a refined moral compass that keeps me on the narrow path. I discovered quite by accident several years ago that I am an INTJ personality type, which is one of sixteen combinations that most people fall into. Reading in Wikipedia the description for INTJ was like reading a report about me. It explained all those years of my being more comfortable as an observer than a participant, a puppeteer who could hide behind the puppets. It explained why I have Mr. Spock logic which can often be interpreted as being cool and lacking in compassion. In truth, underneath my aloof stoic appearance is a preprogramed fail safe coping skill. Because I can grieve too deeply, even into disfunction, early on I set a standard not to expect too much lest I be disappointed. I can’t change that. And, it turns out, I don’t have to. My Father knows how I am, and loves me anyway, just as I know how each of my three children and seven grandchildren are and I love them.

 

That said, it explains why God, once He called me to step up to His purpose, allowed me to understand that while I am still who I was when I drew my first breath, the sum total of experiences, good and bad, choices, good and bad, exist to serve Him now because I gave it all to Him. I am gloriously imperfect and will be until I exhale my last breath, but God uses me anyway in the ways He chooses. I am accessible.  Once I stopped worrying and wondering if I was a new being, in, by and through Christ, as they say, I realized that all I had to do was stop looking inward and put my focus outward toward Him, that is when I stopped thinking about me and my shortcomings, whether or not I measured up and started listening, obeying and trusting that He was more than adequate enough to use me for His purpose, in spite of all my warts. 

 

Further I now understand, that He can use anyone, with or without his/her consent, but His heart is warmed by willing participants. Do you not have a soft spot for the child who strives to obey and please you?

 

Consider John 21:18-22 

 

(21:18) Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.  (21:19) Now this he spake, signifying by what manner of death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me.  (21:20) Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; who also leaned back on his breast at the supper, and said, Lord, who is he that betrayeth thee?  (21:21) Peter therefore seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do?  (21:22) Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what [is that] to thee? Follow thou me.  

 

Follow thou me. He doesn’t require us to compare ourselves to anyone else. How could He? He made us all so unique, not perfect, just unique. This Scripture also reveals that He has individual standards for each of His children. Humans don’t like this concept because they want ‘fairness” like little children who cry out, “not fair!” Like Peter wanting to know why John was so special.

 

Once we figure out that God establishes what is fair, not us. God establishes what is right and wrong, not us, we discover that we have individual parameters that He sets for us that may or may not apply to anyone else. Conversely, we can have some latitude that others might not. This is called a personal relationship with Christ. Personal, meaning one on one, based on our own uniqueness and level of surrender to Him. I know what He expects from me just as I know what He allows. I also know when I am being chastised for stepping outside of the lines He drew for me. The key is being always ready to submit and repent. And then move on, forgiven. This is the definition of working out sanctification. It’s a learning curve that never ends until we expire. Every experience that leads us to humility gains us new spiritual awareness, which is something different from head knowledge but makes us even more usable for His purposes.

 

For me the ultimate test question to be answered was: if I knew I was never going to be worthy and could never be worth dwelling with Him forever, would I turn away? Is my focus on me and my reward, my perfection, or on HIm and His need? 

 

The correct answer is: the day one can say, “I would and will serve Him even if He rejects me because He is worthy to be served”, is the day one can know for sure one is right with God.

[chipped china]

Yes, we do have the same kind of personalities, always looking for the next high because it's calming to be engrossed in something where we are ravished to feed on it. There are some other things that happened to me that anointed or sanctified me. It's hard to explain because it deals with a personal relationship that I've talked about briefly before. I wish I could explain it but sometimes you can't adequately convey the intimacy you experience with another person. I met a man who was a prophet/teacher that spent hours preaching the word of God to me while examining my heart and soul. He was the first person I ever met that was so filled with the Holy Spirit that I felt at times I was meeting Jesus. He lived a life without things while everyday searching for the Spirit of God in others. He loved to met people and make God connections. He was the first man I really ever loved. But it turned out it was Christ in him I loved the most. Since that time I've been changed/ altered/ blessed because I know the Love of God. My older non believing sister thought I was manic and I was: for the Lord. I was high as a kite. I had never felt the presence of the Holy Spirit like that before. The main thing though is I learned I didn't need a man to complete my life because now I'm married to my Lord and Savior who loves me perfectly. The other thing that happened during that time was I changed from believing that somehow God created everything but still hanging on to evolution too. Creation became real to me. So that started an earnest desire to understand my true history starting with God creating the heavens and earth and Adam and Eve. For the first time I was truly interested in history to know my true heritage. From muck to apes to the Garden of Eden was quite an awakening for me. Most of my family think I'm nuts, so what else is new.

 

My life is quite a bit like yours too. I'm retired and have 20 horses and 7 dogs. I'm fostering 2 Pom puppies for a family that had to go into detox for 3 months. So I get up, do some chores then settle in with my computer reading devotions, the bible, listening to commentaries, then more chores, watching the Olympics and then more study and chores. It's a blessed life in many ways mostly because His fire keeps burning in me. I have so much more to learn it drives the desire because I want to be able to witness His Holiness and love to others. I want others to have the freedom of Christ's salvation and the sanctification that makes us complete and useful. I don't see myself so much as an evangelist, but more of an encourager to other believers. We all have gifts it's just "seeing" what He places in front of us and responding. That's another thing I had to deal with: not coveting the gifts that others have but being satisfied with what Jesus gave me. We aren't all called to high places but that doesn't mean the lowest place in the end won't be the first. Who has washed someone's feet lately or greeting someone with a holy kiss?

 

Thanks for the great topic and Meema, I really enjoyed your post with so much wisdom.

[Charles Miles]

Kevin,

 

Yes, a person can change but he cannot do it without an ongoing, close, very personal relationship with the Lord.  I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, or even 3-4 years ago, but not because of any thing that I did by sense knowledge, study, or even trying hard to change myself.  Even though I had been a Christian for 50+ years, I had continued with the same thoughts, bad temper, anger, and depression/anxiety.  Once I realized that my condition was terminal, that I was powerless to change it, and life that continued in that condition was not worth continuing, I did what any rational person would do.....I sought help.  How?  Well here is the nitty gritty of the situation...I went to the one that I thought I was about to meet and I spilled my guts to God in the middle of my back yard one night.  I was alone....except for about a million stars, a new moon, and the creator of the universe.  Up until that night I had never just emptied my life to Him and confessed EVERYTHING!  Didn`t I think God knew about all that mess anyway?  In God`s word it says...."In those days I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  I will write my statutes on your heart.  I will be your God and you will be my people...and I will remember your sins no more".....kind of a poor summation of the new covenant, but I think correct.  What I learned was that NO I cannot change myself, even though I try, but God creates a "new creature" in that when He does these things, one is now a child of the living God, a member of God`s household, a covenant blessed race of creatures with God`s laws written on the  INSIDE. 

 

Have I changed?  I like to think I try hard to be an ambassador for my king, but maybe one would have to ask people who knew me before and after that night to get some kind of answer.  Do I still mess up?  Sad to say, yes.  But I meet with the Lord daily to discuss what He can help me to do better and I again go out and try hard.....and sometimes I fail again.  Now, here is how I understand how the Father sees this....I know I mess up and almost instantly I know I have messed up(laws written on the inside give immediate feedback, and often feedback before something is done).   God sees me as his child and has given me HIS rightiousness!!!  He sees me as I should be, as He has deemed(poor word) me to be.  That is the grace, love, and kindness of our Lord when a relationship of Father and child exists. I am nothing without that relationship because I still have to fight these battles every day and I sometimes lose a skirmish, but I know God has already won the war.  With that relationship I am a child of God, a justified man, a joint heir with my brother Jesus who is also my defense against evil at the Heavenly court.

 

A man/woman who knows that the God of the universe loves him, knows him by name, has His laws written inside the man/woman, and has given to the man the very nature of God(eternal life), simply has to be changed.  We call it being born again or born of the spirit, but at the very least, it is change and change most drastic.  The thing that has been given to me that I can see, kind of a marker that change has occurred, is PEACE.  Peace in my mind and soul. Freedom from worry. No anxiety. If one goes to a psychiatrist and asks for those things there would be a chuckle because that is a very tall order, if not impossible to attain.  Yet God did it for me at no cost!!  No cost to me, but at a cost to Him.  All because he loves me more than I can ever, ever understand.  An old doctor in a small town in rural Mississippi is known and loved by the God of all creation!!!! Wow.  Will that cause change Kevin?  It has for me and I want to be worthy of it...but I can`t be worthy of that kind of love, so I just accept it and daily praise Him for it.

 

Praise almighty God because He is who He is,

 

Charlie

[Meema]

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.” - Vance Havner

[Ginger]

 Kevin, 

A testimony regarding change ...  I don't know that outward physical appearances show any transformation of being changed perhaps others may inspect fruit in my life better than I am able to because I see more neglect in being a doer of the word than a doer of the Word.  Do I love people as Jesus loved and loves me?  So what questions do I need ask and have an answer for?  Do I rely on Jesus' Work or do I rely on me being a doer and lack fairness and/or ability to be accurate in an estimation or to even speculate?  ... ah, a testimony of what Jesus has done to change me.... Does it show in outward appearances?  Reckon it depends on the viewpoint...

 

In my wee life, a few daily things are done and many are neglected task wise and this has been the norm for such a very long time.... Reckon what Jesus has done in me or in anyone else is more than I can really comprehend. 

 

All I know are past and present methinks, past and present they say, and God said and says can be more than I could or can change.   The only thing that I know that has changed is that I want to please God and this seems to remind me of a very young child of about 4 1/2 years old, and also an old woman who just occasionally sort of sees what God has done and/or is doing.  Young or old my basic personality seems to be basically unchanged.  What is my personality or character?  Some say that I'm a compassionate person.  I think that I fail at many things and believe only God's grace and tender mercies give me anything to be glad about.  And I do praise God for having some gladness. Seems like most gladness is because of God's doing and yes, even the toys he gives me to enjoy.  Computer, Bible programs, herbs, essential oils, scales to weigh things to make and just to enjoy His blessing me with His loving presence in ways that I can understand.  Sometimes just to be able to breathe and say thank you is awesome.

 

Long ago as a new believer I was in tears because I didn't know anything about truly wanting to love God and only knew that I only knew that I loved a child God allowed me to have.  And I had a love for my child's biological father that others described as me lighting up like a Christmas tree at his appearance.  These thoughts come to mind this morning as I try to begin to share some of how God has changed my heart and how He has made me a new creation in Him (by grace and by faith) ....  one focus at a time is hard for me to manage... so please forgive me for what may wind up sounding totally weird and/or inept.

 

The main thing that has happened in my heart is that I came to want Jesus and to have a relating relationship with Him more than anything else that I'm aware of. Oh, I want to accomplish some wee tasks and hope to be in Christ even when I struggle or humanly fail... And I do think of Peter and how his personality was and of Mary and of Martha...  ...  Well... as a young woman I only wanted a loving relationship with a man and to have his child, (believe this to be typical for most women back then...).   Jesus was not in my life in any conscious way until after I became a mother... Jesus saved me and I did not know how to love or even know what it was to want to love Jesus ...  What did this truly mean? I did not have a clue... only had one woman at church say that if I loved Jesus I'd do so and so but that was as much as I got to hear about Jesus from her.

 

One day I was reading about my righteousness being as filthy rags and cried and cried because I did not love Jesus like I loved my young child and her dad.  This was not loving Jesus and I didn't have any idea of what to do but cry and said, "Jesus if you were here, I'd kiss your feet."  The presence of Jesus became real for that moment and I do not remember what happened after that but His presence was real and I've never forgotten....

 

After being what is called saved I did many things that were not a lifestyle of being saved.  God didn't change HIs mind and never left me in spite of all my choices, wants, and/or whatever.  It took many years to come to believe anything of His word and came by being in the Bible and seeking to learn of Jesus...  Sometimes I'd be graced to write and sense something of Jesus.....

 

To this day I only know that Jesus has changed me and He gave me a new heart (...my old heart ... desperately wicked);  and in spite of all my failures,  He loves me and He saved me and keeps working in me to will and to do of His good pleasure, do I understand this?  Only a wee bit.  I struggle with 'stuff' and then 'stop' struggling and hopefully surrender to Jesus moment by moment, day by day... And one day see Him as He is.  Jesus Knows me much better than I know me.... so all I can do is keep coming to Jesus and keep asking Him to be Lord of all and show me what He wants me to see. Do I have a fear?  Yes, I do.  I fear that I don't do what He wants me to do and then just come and ask to be His, to truly be His....  and can praise Him because I am His, yes, by faith... O thank YOU JESUS for the measure of faith.  (And, there is much that I do not know about having a new heart... but this heart pulses beat by beat with faith, hope, and love...)

 

Maybe the only testimony I have about being changed is being given and receiving the measure of faith.  Sometimes I only use what is a timid faith, and other times have a bold faith.  Any and all time the measure of faith is still mine... sometimes the Holy Spirit stirs me to stir up the measure of faith and use it as I would if I needed a teaspoon of any ingredient to make food or formulate a remedy with herbs or essential oils or whatever I'm graced to do.  All that I can do is done by the grace and tender mercies of my Lord Jesus paying and giving and giving and giving...

 

Regardless of any outward appearances God Knows the state of each heart at each moment and we are to live by faith, to have hope and to love to the best of our ability moment by moment. 

 

O to love the Lord Jesus with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.... To see Jesus face to face... to be changed... to know Him as He is and be in union with Him as His bride forever and ever.

 

A wee bit of knowing for today, to love Jesus and be in Christ can be more than any of my words....

 

Kevin, thank you for the opportunity presentation to share a testimony...

 

May I join in and borrow Charlie's words....

 

Praise Almighty God  because He is who He is,

 

 

Ginger

[ADVRider]

Kevin,

 

Sort of along the lines of Charles's post where he said he'd been a Christian 50+ years, I've seen Christian people who apparently hadn't changed much over a long period of time. I am not trying to provide the anti-testimony, but it's true that is the case sometimes. In other cases, people change dramatically when truly converted. And sometimes, it takes a long time for certain victories to manifest. But like Charles said, it's only through submission and surrender that it can happen, not through the "bootstrap" method. Or any method. You've heard it said of non-believers that sometimes it seems they are nicer people than some believers. Perhaps this is what your aunt has observed and is throwing out the baby with the bathwater.  

[Kenny]

Since I like to keep things as simple as possible, then please permit me to simply state, that if a person can't change then we must assume that either Paul didn't know what he was talking about or was lying when he said;

 

Wherefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, they are become new. 2 Cor 5:17

 

I personally know that when I became saved there was such drastic changes wrought within me that everyone who knew me couldn't understand what had become of me. In fact there was such a change within me that manifested itself outwardly, that many of my older acquaintances no longer desired to be around me. Some of them commented, "Kenny has gone off the deep end" to which I replied, yes I have and it's wonderful.

[Ginger]

John, thank you for mentioning "bootstraps"... used to work in boots ... farm work and with horses... and the "bootstraps" method of pulling oneself up was misused by some long before and after my boot wearing days... grateful for being reminded of back yonder years wearing, boots, working with horses and going to church in a small country town.... Thanks for posting and sharing about methods not working.... and about some non believers sometimes being nicer people than some believers... heard one man say that if so and so was a Christian he didn't want to be one... this same man didn't make statements about being a Christian ... He lived life from a wheelchair and  once stopped to help a woman who'd had a flat tire while many people whizzed by in their cars... Amazing what God brings to remembrance and the things that generate them and time they are brought....  Thankful for old memories, and the blessings being generating from reading your reply, God's blessings remembered is His goodness given again, and again....and this current praise moment ....  a refreshing ... Hallelujah ..... 

Edited by Ginger, 12 February 2014 - 09:11 PM.

[Kevin Blankenship]

Wow, y'all have really been VERY helpful with this topic. This topic of CHANGE as it relates to post-conversion.  That is precisely the information I was asking for.  I ain't just saying this so that I can "come off" as all grateful sounding. I really mean it.  Y'all have given to me much food for thought. See, ...I see things as black and white, cut and dried, and sort of analytical, which often leaves out the human element.

   I have a few more questions coming.  Just topics that I think about and "stare and study" on as I look vacantly out the window.

 Me?  Change-wise? Well,  as a child and growing up, I had this unexplainable resentment against my parents. I mean, they used to just constantly scream at my elder brother and me.   But that's not the only reason. I really cannot think of why right now. I just know that I did. It was very likely because I wasn't getting my way whenever I wanted something. But anyway, this resentment just festered and festered and when I finally graduated high school, I went to college. For two semesters. My father wanted me to be a MD like him. But I would faint if I saw someone with a cut.  Nevertheless, I dropped out in my second semester and I was instantly ostracised by my parents and they would not even let me talk to my younger sisters. During all this .....I discovered alcohol. Then, narcotics.  And then  it was ON!!!!!  Over 25 years of jails, treatment centers,  prison, more jails, more treatment centers ( I have completed 13 inpatient treatment centers) and prison again (forgery, etc etc). I mean....I was GOING to get drunk and being broke didn't present too much of an obstacle. I was a first class hellion. September 1, 2005 was my very first sober day in many a year. Been sober every since.  But I know alot of unsaved folks who have longer periods of sobriety and they were much worse than me!!! So no, I don't really count 'not drinking and drugging' as being a major testimony. But what I DO count is this: My long lived resentment towards my mother is no more. It has vanished. It has been replaced with a love and tenderness that I did NOT know I was even capable of. And an empathy (and even sympathy) for her.  So now, whenever I feel hunger pains, I wonder if momma's Interal Feeding Pump is working. If my s tummy aches, I wonder is momma's stomach is aching. If I have to use the bathroom, I instantly wonder about momma;s same condition. If I am bored stiff, I wonder if momma is bored and I'll go change the channel on her TV or put on soft music and kiss her forehead. Nine times out of ten she will smile. Makes my day.  So, after reading y'all's stuff, and as I write my stuff.....I can see where God has sanded the rough edges off of me. And God has placed me in a position where another person is VERY reliant upon me for, not only their creature comforts, but for their every need.  I view myself as a very very blessed man now. And all the more blessed because I am a member of a Forum where we can share these wonderful things with each other and build up one another. But.....it's bedtime now.  Good night.

[DonnaA]

Be encouraged, He WILL finish the work HE started in you ... looks like He has done quite a bit so far in helping you turn your life around ..... I really liked that "sanded the rough edges" comment.

[Ginger]

Kevin, reached the quota of positive votes for the day, 

 

Your shares are helpful and God has used this topic to help me become aware in a different way of how a desire for parental approval and rebelling are each part of the same coin....

 

Jesus is a healing Jesus and it tain't a denominational doctrinal issue   .... scuse'me....   sometimes the LORD uses your post..... to generate what is needed to be dealt with ... differently....

 

Thank you so much for sharing your heart and mind with us ... especially your last post and the love you have that you didn't know was there... methinks folks that have gone into whatever for some form of relief usually have a heart that only God KNOWS...

 

Bless you with all that God has for you and may the years be restored.... seems like that is in Joel ... maybe chapt 2 verse 25 .... reckon could look it up but will risk being lazy for a moment...

 

Love you with the Love of the LORD and appreciate you 2

 

PS: looked it up and Barnes' Notes is a good read .....  sorry to be so wordy.... God bless.

Edited by Ginger, 13 February 2014 - 02:35 PM.

[Julie Daube]

Becoming a new creation in Christ is a life-long process, so we will all have areas in which change is ongoing and not necessarily sudden and obvious. For instance, to this day I still struggle with anxiety (which has been a major stronghold for me since childhood), but I am not nearly as fearful as I was 15 and 20 years ago. In fact, I've taken risks that I never would have imagined taking in the past.

 

But there is one area in my life where it seems that God has transformed me completely - I stopped flying into rages (people who know me will probably be shocked to learn that I used to have a big rage problem, lol!). I would scream at my husband and throw things whenever I got frustrated or felt overwhelmed with life's difficulties. I've slammed doors, cussed so loud all the neighbors could hear me, and even broke our phone once because I slammed the receiver down so hard. It's a little embarrassing to admit to this behavior, but hopefully it will be a testimony of the transforming power of the gospel and will give glory to God.            

[Ginger]

Like This quota reached: Julie, Thank you for sharing and blessing.

[Kenny]

Ah, sinners saved by grace. 

 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
'Twas blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we first begun.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Was blind, but now I see. - John Newton

 

Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

[chipped china]

Praise our glorious Lord. I truly believe Jesus is here among us! I've heard so many real and helpful truths in the deeper life. It's kind of amazing this can happen on a forum.

 

I was thinking about starting a new topic but it goes hand in hand with this one so I'll bring it up here. How do we make God the most important in our lives. For the first 25 years of my Christian life, I'd characterize it as a changed life, a gratefulness with knowing I had real moments of grace and closeness to God, but He was not the most important part of my life. I might have said He was and tried to believe it but it didn't happen until God Himself put His love in me. When I try to analyze how I received His fire the only thing I can think of is; when I had to give up my marriage, the one thing I wanted most my whole life is when it happened. I'm certainly not putting marriage down but it is interesting Paul speaks about it being easier to be unmarried because of constantly looking to please your husband or wife. Perhaps for me I had to go through losing "marriage" to gain Jesus fully. I'm speaking for me not you. I don't believe marriage has to hinder a relationship with God at all.

 

The reason I bring this up is because I wish to help Kevin with his passion for Christ. If I can shed any light with my life and experience I'm willing to dig deep for it. I guess we know it's really up to our Lord to refine and pour His Spirit in us. What I have, I want to give to others. Don't misunderstand I'm not saying I've "got" it, but I did go through something that took me to the next level. Perhaps it's like with Charlie, there comes a time when you completely empty yourself at the Lord's feet.

I don't really understand all this and I'd like feedback too. Was it that before I was justified and now I'm sanctified too?