27 replies to this topic

[Meema]

So, I’m sort of new here. At least in the posting instead of just reading. I do feel welcome and I do appreciate that. I’ll try to maintain that status. But I have to admit to a certain amount of angst over the forum ‘features’ and I need to express my reticence toward inclusion in these things.

 

Let me explain.

 

When I was twelve my dad was transferred to another city. In the first week of being the new kid in the school a girl approached me and said, “Hi, I’m Margaret. Do you want to be my friend? My best friend doesn’t like me anymore and I want to make her jealous.” 

 

Yes, yes, she did say that. At least she was honest. Being a peculiar child who was born to see and do things differently than the crowd, I replied, “Thanks, but I don’t make friends like that.” She shrugged and walked away, clearly broken but stoically hiding her devastation.

 

I think back on it as the first ever “defriending”. I am nothing if not a trend setter.

 

However, not much changed in the way I chose to have or be a friend over the last half century. I’m sure I am not the only person remaining who does not use any, as in no social media, except the now archaic email but I am quite sure I am a member of a shrinking minority. Here I am, all these years later, and I find the new culture of friending/liking/star-ranking friendship and acceptance to be just as unreal and untrue as any other way that quantifies friendship in terms of numbers instead of genuine accountability.

 

What is it about humans that we must have proof that we are liked and yet the proof we depend on is not in the least reliable? Is it something inherent in us that we must appear to others that we are acceptable to others? There was some core in me that knew even at age twelve that this is a weakness that leaves us quite vulnerable. It is why children in urban areas cannot break free of the cycle that pulls them into gangs. It is the underlying cause of suicides from virtual bullying. It is the new glittering mask that hides the ugliness of all that is insincere. It is the siren call of that which seems to be but is not. It sucks in and then spits out at will. Leaving misery in all manner of ways.

 

Call me a maverick but I prefer God’s time proven system for defining friendship, brethren, assembly, fellowship. Please don’t be offended when I say I don’t need you to ‘like’ me. If I am worthy to be loved, then love me, not as a gift, mind you, but as a reward for my having earned it. I’ll do my best to earn your respect, your friendship, true friendship. But I don’t need it recorded anywhere. God is the Great Accountant. 

 

Precious indeed is the fellowship of those whose citizenship is in heaven. We have fellowship with the Saviour: “God is faithful by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ” ( I Cor. 1:9). We have the fellowship of the Spirit (Phil. 2:1). There is the fellowship of His sufferings (Phil. 3:10). We enjoy the fellowship of the Saints ( I John 1:7; Acts 2:42). There is the fellowship of service: “the fellowship of ministering to the saints” ( II Cor. 8:4).   Vance Havner

For Him, 

Meema

[Kenny]

Meema

 

To me personally, on-line friendshipping simply means that I have respect and admiration of the writings, compositions, and views of the person I'm befriending. It's not as though I know them personally, yet I have an interest in reading what they post because I find it enjoyable and uplifting as well as insightful. 

 

Blessings

[Charles Miles]

Meema, I had a great post written in response to your questions, and it evaporated!  Let me summarize it because it was too long anyway.  What is meant by "friending" on an internet site doesn`t mean much to me, but being your brother in Christ does mean something to me. I can say that I love you as a sister and respect you as an equal in the Kingdom of God, and that would seem to me to be a bit deeper that "friend". We support each other here and offer help when needed, discuss important matters about our faith, and I have come to see this site as a precious resource for growth in Christ.  The demographics of members here makes it unlikely that many of us will ever meet personally, but I feel that we do meet in a personal, manner in the spirit, when we discuss matters of the Holy here.  Am I your friend?  I would like to think I could be, because I do consider you to be a friend of mine and a sister in our faith.

 

Praise God because He is who He is,

 

Charlie

[Meema]

I do understand that the friending thing doesn’t mean people are looking for friendship as the word used to be defined.

 

What I am saying is, I see the downside for the whole concept. It’s like looking at the tip of the iceberg. There’s way more underneath.

 

Again, I’m a maverick, always. Just wanted folks to know where I stand at the outset that I probably will not use the features much if at all so don’t take that to mean anything except that Meema is a curmudgeon. I’m a Christian curmudgeon though and I am always happy to interact with other Christians as brothers and sisters.

 

For Him,

Meema

[ADVRider]

I think either way you go Meema is fine. I understand what you are saying about the "friending" thing. The others are saying (I think) that online friending is something other than "real" friends from the old days. Times have indeed changed.

 

I used to be on Facebook at one time and no offense to anyone who uses it and loves it, but it was pretty meaningless to me. So I get what you are saying too. The beauty is here, you are already more than what a Facebook "friend" might be, and you didn't have to "friend" anyone. It's just not needed (unless you really wish to), because you are already communicating.

 

I do think the world we are living in makes it difficult to make real friends. We are the wired, yet disconnected society. Much of human interaction now is heavily circumscribed by the nature of the means we communicate by, and will therefore end up having a certain amount of superficiality or even artificiality. But not all would agree with that, except maybe us geezers over 45!

[chipped china]

Yes, there is nothing like face to face over time relationships, but I think we can look at our writings as little epistles, letters to the Body. We are such a mobile society that many of our closest friends live in another town. So, this site adds value to my walk with God. I kind of like it when people friend me. I take it as I moved their heart in some positive way.. or God did hopefully. And it's like wise with me. God loves when we worship Him and we are made in His image so positive feedback is a need people have. I like this format because we can get into the depth of thinking right away without having to go through all the formalities. Ok, I'm off to bible study for another type of fellowship!

Meema, I'm so glad you're here.

[Candice]

What's "friending"?? LOL!!?? If I did it, I didn't mean to and don't need to and don't plan to!
 
I'd like to contribute to this debate, but don't know what the term is or how it's done.  If I did it, it was an accident! LOL cause I don't get it!
 
Love,
Candice

[chipped china]

Candice, silly goose. It's when we ask someone on this site to be a friend. It's not anything bad. HA love you sister, bets

[Meema]

John, ditto.

Chipped China, thank you.

Candace, you can come stand over here with me.   

[radar]

Jesus said this to Judas after he was betrayed in Matthew 26:50 “Friend,” Jesus asked him, “why have you come?” Only Jesus could call one who betrayed him a friend. I am glad that he "befriended"  the betrayer I once was!

[Meema]

Now, I like that. 

[Julie Daube]

Just an FYI to those who aren't sure how "friending" is done on this site: you go to someone's profile and chick on the option "Add me as a friend." It's similar to sending a "friend request" to someone on the social media site Facebook.

On Facebook, friending isn't necessarily a means of making new friends; for most of us, it's a way to stay connected with people we already know (family, coworkers, former classmates, etc.). When someone accepts your friend request, it allows you to keep up with what they post on the site. I'm sure there are people for whom friending is simply a popularity contest, but it can also be a way to facilitate genuine community. For instance, the neighborhood where my church is located was evacuated during a deadly wildfire two years ago. Although the congregation couldn't physically meet to worship that week, those of us who are FB friends were able to connect with each other on the site, offering prayers and encouragement to those affected by the fire. It was as if Facebook had become our church that Sunday.

Here's a fascinating fact I learned recently: Social media experts agree that the Church is the most effective social media tool ever invented. Cool, huh?

[Ginger]

Thank you all!!!!
 
Maybe with some the word friend and the word love have been abused.  Love the Scripture that Radar posted and his comment... Today I can say I'm thankful to y'all and the idea of friendship keeps expanding.... Thank you!!!!
 
Jesus befriended me and O the joy ..... makes me think of a line in a song.... O the joy that floods my soul...... Yes, He touched me....
 
Gratitude for theses post and each one of you!!!
 
Tears and joy do intermingle....

and Laughter too.... Bets, Good to hear ya say silly goose to Candice too! Had a person call me silly goose way back yonder years... Reckon a term of endearment can be "silly goose".... Gee, insight, hindsight, and forsight.... LOL....

When we all get to heaven what a glorious day that will be.... we can get to see Jesus, each other and just can't wrap me wee brain around everyone seeing everyone... and worshiping and reckon I'm imagining how things are for  the animals and all creation... that verse tell'n about the creatures or all of creation groaning ... things were perfect for the trees and animals .... I will look the verse up and read a bit ... LOL.... gonna procrastinate a bit..... LOL

 

 

welp... I best mozey on to do something.... like fix some food... I forgot to do that and it's been a wile since 4 AM[ish]....

 

Bless y'all

Thanks for letting me share.....

[radar]

On the Facebook posting, there are a few in my fellowship who call it wastebook for the drama that is there. When they found I am on Facebook, the judgement began. Then I would smile and gently explain that I had many relatives in the British Isle that were steeped in popery and Mary ism, being Catholic. I have found Facebook to be a great tool to share the true Gospel with those I would otherwise have no access. Case in point, the Lord impressed upon me the point of posting a hard scripture publicly a couple of years ago. I thought this was going to do more harm than good, but in obedience I posted it. About 20 minutes later I had a cousin who skyped me with questions about Jesus and the traditions of men. A door was opened to preach the Gospel, and in this case, out of season ( 2 Ti 4:2). Facebook, like any other thing, can be used for good or evil purposes. My fellow brethren could not see this or still have a way to go in their walk to seize every opportunity to preach the Gospel. 

 

Another great use on Facebook is we are a motorcycle ministry with chapters all over the world. This allows us to reprove, rebuke, and exhort each other in our walk (2 Ti 4:2). I have also been adding Christians in other parts of the world, Africa, India, the middle east among others, some who are going thru great tribulation. We encourage and help each other and pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (Scattered abroad). (Ep 6:18)

 

Also, I didn't know about friending on this forum until Charles Miles sent me a friend request. Thank you Charles! It is that small matter which reaps large rewards when one truly knows that there are others out there that are like minded and care for you. The devil will tell you different when you see a post you do not understand or do not agree with. It was the bound of being all in one accord that the early church flourished (Acts 2:1). I perceive we have that awesome gift her, distance is no problem for the great fellowship that is here and could not have been without the advent of social media and the technological advances which enable us to do this. 

 

Now, I must go and do likewise as far as friending my beloved brethren here!

 

Ginger, Like that statement that tears and joy do intermingle....I have been praying and seeking how  sorrow and joy can coexist in a Christian. Maybe that would be a good new thread to start as I would covet the thoughts of others on this matter. "ye have not because Ye ask not"  (Ja 4:2).

 

Shalom,

radar

[Julie Daube]

Loved your post, Radar! I know others who also use Facebook as a ministry/evangelistic tool. As you said, social media, like any other tool, can be used for good or ill. Through Facebook, I have met believers all over the country (and even around the world) whom I never would have had the privilege to know otherwise. The fact that I became acquainted with these brothers and sisters on a social networking site does not diminish the value of these friendships.

God did not set rules about how to make friends - He commands us to love our neighbors and share His love with the lost; and if being part of a social networking site helps us to do that, I think we have His blessing.

[Candice]

Just an FYI to those who aren't sure how "friending" is done on this site: you go to someone's profile and chick on the option "Add me as a friend." It's similar to sending a "friend request" to someone on the social media site Facebook.

On Facebook, friending isn't necessarily a means of making new friends; for most of us, it's a way to stay connected with people we already know (family, coworkers, former classmates, etc.). When someone accepts your friend request, it allows you to keep up with what they post on the site. I'm sure there are people for whom friending is simply a popularity contest, but it can also be a way to facilitate genuine community. For instance, the neighborhood where my church is located was evacuated during a deadly wildfire two years ago. Although the congregation couldn't physically meet to worship that week, those of us who are FB friends were able to connect with each other on the site, offering prayers and encouragement to those affected by the fire. It was as if Facebook had become our church that Sunday.

Here's a fascinating fact I learned recently: Social media experts agree that the Church is the most effective social media tool ever invented. Cool, huh?

Thank you Julie. I see now. I had no idea what this function was or how to do it. I don't think I will though LOL!!

[Julie Daube]

You're welcome, Candice! I don't send friend requests on MyCMA because there doesn't seem to be much of a purpose to this feature (on Facebook, if you send a friend request and they accept, you are able see their posts, so it's a way of staying connected with them). However, I do accept people's friend requests on MyCMA if I've read their posts or have interacted with them to some degree. If a total stranger sends me a friend request, I usually just ignore it.

[DonnaA]

Glad you said something, cause I wondered about the friending thing here.

 

I am on FB ... last year the Lord impressed on my heart to share a daily verse and then a short time later I added a picture to the daily postings. I had no idea how much these verses were blessing others ... but discovered that many are reading them ... some I had no idea noticed because they just don't say anything on FB ... somewhere along the way FB stopped being a place to play games and became a mission field.

 

My teens are also on FB, but we limit their approval of friend requests to those that they truly know ... they understand that some people will send them a request just to have a high friend count ... 

[Julie Daube]

Donna, that is so awesome that you share Bible verse on FB! I have a friend who does the same thing, and many people (including unbelievers) have told her how much the Scriptures she shares have blessed them. I totally agree with you that FB is a mission field!

[CHRISTOPHER310]

For me to be friends with someone, I need to feel I can trust them. How do you trust a person you have never met personally? Someone who is behind a computer screen unknown to you by any means other than what they want you to know ( or think ) of them? I need to know the person, trust them before I can be friends with them. I don’t see how this is possible to do from behind computer screens.