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I think I'm feeling worst


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#1 CHRISTOPHER310

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Posted 28 January 2014 - 10:32 PM

I wrote this on the 23rd because it was how I was feeling about myself at the time. I still feel this way, just alot more alone and rejected. I am not sure in this horrible moment of being lost and confused, if I am going to feel better. :unsure:

 

 

Burn My Book

For I am nothing more than a forgotten page in a book never read beyond title for the judgment of what shall be burned and what shall be glorified. My book ( my life ) shall be discarded into the fire with such bitter hatred and blind judgment.

Written by: Christopher **** ~ January 23rd, 2014



#2 Julie Daube

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 09:53 AM

Christopher, I am sorry that you are struggling so much. One thing I urge you to do immediately is to start focusing on who you are in Christ. It's the enemy who is planting thoughts of self-loathing in your mind, and the best way to come against those lies is to remind yourself of your identity in Christ (what God's Word says about you as His beloved child).

 

Here's a link to get you started:

 

http://encouragingbi...m/verses2a.html

 

It's also possible that the enemy is seeking to attack you with a spirit of rejection. If that's the case, you need to stand against his schemes by rebuking any such spirit in the name of Jesus. Declare aloud who you are in Christ and what the Scriptures say about you. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT write statements about yourself like those you wrote in "Burn My Book" - in doing so, you are agreeing with Satan and not with what God says about you.   

 

The devil is waging a war against your mind and emotions, and you need to take the offensive. Put on the full armor of God each and every day so you can stand against his schemes. It also might be wise to seek Christian counseling in dealing with your feelings of rejection/self-loathing.   

 

You can have victory in this area! I know this because I've struggled with similar feelings and have found freedom in Christ. As a child of God, you can be an overcomer!

 

Remember that you are never alone if you have the Lord. Jesus promises never to leave us or forsake us. He is with you always!

 

I will pray for you.

 

May grace and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus, the Messiah, be yours!

 

Julie


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#3 Julie Daube

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 12:14 PM

I happened to find the following on FB today - seems like it was meant for you to read!

 

God establishes people for His purposes. He establishes some to do some things, and others to accomplish different purposes. He puts some people in places to stand up and execute things, and some to sit down and work on fulfilling another piece of the kingdom.

Are you struggling with your identity and battling fear that you’re not fulfilling the purposes God created you to fulfill? Maybe you think you have not arrived in who you think you should be, as a man or a woman.

Rejection will drive you into a solution for identity. Rejection can keep you from your identity, drive you into the wrong identity, or cause you to make things up about yourself to pretend to be something you’re not. Rejection does not allow you to be content at your present state; it will drive you and not allow you to be led by God.

What is the solution? Don’t worry about it! God has appointed you to be doing what you are doing, where you are, and who you are, for right now. Don’t get so caught up in worrying about what you’re going to do that you’re distracted and not useful where you are right now.

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
From: Be in Health

 


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#4 chipped china

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Posted 29 January 2014 - 04:06 PM

Christopher,

Please take Christ's wisdom through Julie to heart. She knows what she's talking about. You are not alone!!!! Jesus lives in you through the Spirit. This time will pass and you will have more endurance and strength. Have courage, be thankful for what you have. Praying for you with the love of Christ, betsy


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#5 Gordy

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Posted 30 January 2014 - 08:02 AM

Praying for you bro.

 

Gordy


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#6 Alex Daube

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Posted 31 January 2014 - 01:45 PM

CHRISTOPHER310, all God's people go through hard times in life. I've been homeless, broke, lonely, miserable, and at one point I was so angry with God that I didn't talk to him for two years. But those times passed. I moved on. The waiting can be terribly hard, but it ends. Take heart in that - God is faithful in his time. And you are not “a forgotten page in a book never read.” So far in this blog Candice, John Albert, Kenny, chipped china, Ginger, Gordy, elizabethcog, and Julie Daube have all read a page in your book. But I have to wonder, do you have any friends from church who are part of your life?

 

As for your post here: “My book (my life) shall be discarded into the fire with such bitter hatred and blind judgment,I have to disagree. God does NOT have bitter hatred or blind judgment for his children. He sees us all through Jesus – his son and our savior – forgiven, approved, and loved by God. We are spotless in his sight. He loves us in spite of our failures and imperfections, and thank God for that, for who among us could stand in his own purity and perfection? None. You are one among many imperfect, struggling children of God, and you need to see yourself as such. Stop condemning yourself and realize – truly understand – that God loves you in spite of your faults and sins. He doesn't hate you. Not ever.


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#7 CHRISTOPHER310

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Posted 31 January 2014 - 06:34 PM

Alex, I am not blaming God for anything in my life. I don't think I've ever blamed God or gotten angry at him. Just not me. I just feel very hurt and very disapointeded by those arund me. The ones I should of known better than to ever get too close to me. Hurt is very prowerful and blinding, but at the same time, can cleans you. I am also just being honest in the way I see myself. A failure and looser. How else can I explain being alone in life, surrounded by people who lie and hurt so much. It has got to be me and to that, that's what I was reflecting. Thanks for the support. God bless.