17 replies to this topic

[Thinker]

 If someone said to us, "You are bitter," we would think that they are wrong. "I'm not bitter," would be your likely response. Just as a person doesn't want to think of having cancer, we don't want to be considered "bitter." Yet many have the acid of bitterness eating away at  their soul. Pinned down, we might say, "I have a right to be bitter! Do you know what they did to me or said about me?" We see ourselves as the offended party. Of course, how we've offended the Lord is far worse than how you or I have been offended. Do we want Him to have bitterness toward us? He has a right to be bitter but He has given up His right and He proved it by dying to give us life, hope and peace. Can we not give up our right to be bitter. You don't have to allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but you must open your heart to the needs of your offender(s). Jesus opened His heart to our need of forgiveness and salvation. If you can release (and you can) your offender(s), you will be freed from the heavy burden of bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 warns, "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest a root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled." Selah! Bitterness travels in bad company. "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice" (Ephesians 4:31). Don't give even a toehold to these!  Thinker   (Ron)

[Alan G Phillips Jr]

Thinker writes, "...you must open your heart to the needs of your offender(s). Jesus opened His heart to our need of forgiveness and salvation." While I agree that "bitterness" can be a real problem today, so is victimization. 

 

There are some really degenerate, evil and wicked people out there who really resonate with the "turn the other cheek" mentality of many professing Christians and churches today.  Why?  It's simple. 

 

People who repeatedly "forgive" victimizers are the perfect mark.  They don't fight back.  Instead, they enable the worst of the worst, "forgiving' such reprobates while innocent children, women and men continue to suffer.  Frankly, this version of the "love gospel" sickens me at times because it continues to passively forgive, accept and tolerate while evil goes on its merry way, leaving untold sufferers in its wake.

 

What if the Allies had just "forgiven" Hitler and the Nazis?  Doesn't that just make us feel warm all over? 

 

To be honest, there are times I really relate to Peter slicing off Malchus' ear in John 18:10.  I am not so sure that the apostle was only aiming for the man's neck.  If he had been on target, Jesus would have had some really serious healing to do.

 

Yes, to be "politically, Biblically and denominationally" correct we all should say, "No, no, no!  I would have done like Jesus and been a healer of that violent man." 

 

Well, I am trying to be honest here...I am sick of perpetrators and their toxic enablers using the "love gospel" to preach submission, feet-washing and other forms of humiliation to wounded people who are just supposed to "take it" until "we all get to heaven."

 

Where is a serious concern for justice here-and-now in Evangelical circles today?

 

Too bad for all the victims out there.  Y'all should just forgive and keep on forgiving...until it all pans out in the end...maybe in a couple thousand years.  In the meantime, "be happy" and don't be "bitter."

[Candice]

Such a great topic that must be dealt with continuously as long as we live IMHO; this topic will remain alive as long as Jesus has not returned or we are still on planet earth!

 

I think of this verse:

Then He said to the disciples, "It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come." Luke 17:1

 

Offense is the most sneaky and manipulative of all SNARES that Satan uses on Christians to trap us into death.  It is so deceptive and effective - DEADLY.  As one author points out, "Two types of people who've been offended exist:  1) one who has been unjustly offended, and 2) those who believe they have been unjustly offended."  I have to say with all truthfulness in heart and word that the later applies to me in most circumstances.  This really was a trap for me when we moved to Wyoming.  No "because" after that since there's no excuse for the anger I had for a few people.  Yes, I'd somewhat avoid them because stumbling would take place if certain topics were spoken, etc.  But releasing others is key to maintaining a relationship with God.  I go through it still here and there.  Now it seems offense towards a mass of folks vs. any individual.  I think that's still deadly.

 

 

I think of Saul who chased and bullied David with such fury and vindictive spirit that God put an evil spirit in Saul after he went to the depths of consulting with the sorceress.  Yet, David spared Saul when he could have killed him.  He knew the trap would be deadly.  (1 Samuel 24:11) Saul's example is the most scary situation of bitterness and offense I read in the scripture. I can so vividly see it because I have come too close to death from that - even if it was only 10% of Saul's immeasurable bitterness towards David.   I think a few years ago I was running so dangerously close to that kind of spirit.  UGHHH!  For God's grace alone do I walk at all.

 

I have to put this(below verse)  letting go concept into my 16 year-old son's head (although his heart is not converted to Christ) and pray for protection of his mind and heart and body.  He doesn't repay evil with evil, but someday, I fear he will.  He has been unjustly offended (bullied terribly).  But, there's just no other answer on this earth but:

 

"Repay no one evil for evil.  Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. [now, this, to me, is harder and harder to do - to find good things to regard in our time].  If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men"  Romans 12:17-18

 

I can't more highly recommend any book, with the student workbook and DVD than The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. I don't care if someone thinks they are never offended.  It ought to be kind of like compulsory, "don't miss this" because Jesus said, "It is impossible that no offenses should come".

Use scripture index cards all over your house, car, wherever to get scripture locked in on this one because I know personally that it is of paramount importance.

 

I am of direct descendency of the "Clanton gang" of the Gunfight at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona.  Every generation in the Clanton geneology has big trouble with bitterness - crime, all were tavern owners, big gamblers up until my generation! Even my own grandmother was a big gambler.  I mean really a Clanton to heart.  Some of those Clanton family descendants STILL meet together, discuss, restating their case and nitpick over the "real truth" about the gunfight at the OK Corral!  This is no joking matter.  Some will stand there and say it was all the Earps' fault.  Or Doc Holiday did this or that!  They were killed unjustly.  STILL!  That's one family reunion I would never go to!  But sadly, my own mother, following the death of my 20 year-old brother being killed by a drunk driver when I was 7 years old, died two years after he did, when I was 9 years old, from trying to get revenge on the lady that did this. The lady had a history of DUIs an arms length long.   It literally killed my mother at a young age of a massive heart attack.  It was pure hatred and, of course, pain, and I can't even recall my mother's grief because the two years that passed were so painful, I blocked all out of my memory.  Maybe that's a good thing.  But, had her Roman Catholic loyalties and any faith she really possessed been of any real spiritual value to her, possibly she might have lived and received deliverance.  It is too painful to even think about at times - all that revengefulness.  Our family torn to pieces because those on the Clanton side urged her onto revenge and my dad would no longer let my sister and me have any contact with them because of it (good thing).

 

Anyway, Thinker Ron, this is such an important thread.  I hope

[Candice]

People who repeatedly "forgive" victimizers are the perfect mark.  They don't fight back.  Instead, they enable the worst of the worst, "forgiving' such reprobates while innocent children, women and men continue to suffer.  Frankly, this version of the "love gospel" sickens me at times because it continues to passively forgive, accept and tolerate while evil goes on its merry way, leaving untold sufferers in its wake.

 

What if the Allies had just "forgiven" Hitler and the Nazis?  Doesn't that just make us feel warm all over? 

 

I hear what you're saying Alan (or read it).  I know it is sickening - all the victims of this world.  We will come into contact with those who victimize us and our loved ones as the Lord puts them there.  I really believe you have a solid point and the LORD feels the way you do.  I just don't know if He sees it as we do because of our limits of lack of omnipresence and omnipotence.  My son was bullied for three years at a school when we moved to Wyoming.  We did everything we could to be sound-minded, prayerful and kind in our dealings with school officials, etc.  The evil wasn't really the boy who was doing this to our son (and a couple of other boys).  However, we advocated as far as we could do so without just basically doing something like litigate, go to State or Federal level, etc. because it would hurt our son.  We took him out after the last incident, homeschooled him for the rest of the year, and have now taken him nearly 25 miles to a town school each way every day for five years.  I would have homeschooled him, but my husband does not support it for us.  We did not bow down to any authority who was not appointed by God. We bowed out, and I regret we did not do so the first year.  We moved from California from a Christian school.  Say what you want about California being the land of fruits, nuts and flakes, but I've never seen that kind of meanness (personally) so pervasive as I have seen it here in our area of Wyoming.

 

Not to be putting everyone here into the same group, but many people here have grown up hard, independent and abused.  Even the most wealthy people here have been victims of abuse.  And, I do mean people who don't abuse and are kind (albeit not believers) have received it.  I  believe there can be curses on people groups and therefore victims and victimizers.  But, I or you were never put in the position of authority as leaders to make determinations of how to deal with the Nazis and Hitlers of this earth.

 

The Lord has made it clear over and again that in the end there will be people who are just lawless!!  So, we even experienced lawless kids (kid with a knife in school in first grade) whom the principal would not discipline because the dad is a famous town lawyer.  No one would touch them.  It is nepotistic and that is an evil in itself.

 

But, we can move if we are pushed down by the boot.  God will always give us a way out.  Paul describes his experiences with other believers as so bad (abusive persecution, etc.) that they wished for death.  We will see more.

 

Blessings,

Candice

[Thinker]

Alan Phillips expressed legitimate concerns regarding our response to those who offend us. We still can't give in to justifying bitterness and hanging onto it. It will damage us and others. On the other hand, it doesn't mean that we have to allow people to walk all over us. Personally, I see "turning the other cheek" as trying to do good to those who have hurt us in any way. We can still be firm and on guard. However, we must release them (and in so doing, it releases us) from all our feelings of anger and desire to get even, and releases us from despising them and hoping that they get what they deserve. It is prideful for us to assume that our offenders have hurt us more than we have hurt God. Letting them off the hook doesn't imply that they don't have to demonstrate that they can now be trusted. I have been hurt and there is still the memory, but I have released my offenders and have enjoyed a good relationship with several of them. The others, I am cautious around but still treat them courteously and watch for a restoration between us. Conscious of my own failings, I extend grace as I would want it extended to me if I should offend. In the sermon on the mount, Jesus taught that we are to forgive, if we want to be forgiven. After the Cross, Paul, under inspiration, wrote, "....forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (From Ephesians 4:32). Under Law, forgive, or else. Under grace, forgiven, as we have been forgiven, how could we not forgive? Thinker  (Ron)

[elizabethcog]

Today a lady at work wanted a trash bag and asked me for one so I told her they are in the cabinet where I told you I would put them after you asked me last week,help yourself to whatever you need.I don't want to get up and unlock the cabinet and get it(she told me).Well I just stood there looking at her and said why not? Get whatever you need that's what they're there for, so she got up and said well forget it I will just get a different one because I am not getting in that cabinet. I started to walk away thinking to myself how this is odd and I don't get it(the autisim in me I guess because she is not saying the real thing but hoping I will somehoe"get it"?? Then I hear her say to someone else we'll just use elizabeth as the trash bag. Now I am really confused because this makes no sense to me as how could I be a trash bag????????? Hours later my daughter tells me she is calling me trash because I did not go get and deliver her the bag...Hmmmm......this made me mad at first but then really hurt, I must love her and forgive her and am kinda claiming to a bit before I really think it is true but I know by God's grace,love and power in me I will let it go..maybe perhaps she meant something else or is sorry ,this i will choose to believe so I can still love....thank you Jesus for showing me how!   (but she can still get her own bags as all her body is working order)love all in Christ

[Charles Miles]

Great topic Ron,
We, as Christians, know what we are to do as far as forgiveness is concerned but if we use only our human reasoning and thought, we simply can`t to it. Jesus himself showed us how to pray...."forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,". Man, that is NOT an easy thing to do, but it simply must be done if we wish to place ourselves in a position to be blessed by the Lord. Oh yes, there are the small petty things done to us that we forgive, but how about those "biggies" when damage is done to our finances, our reputation, or our wellbeing? How about when someone close to you really "sticks it to you"? We must turn these hurt feelings, damaged lives, and even harm(both physically and mentally) over to the Lord, while trusting Him to keep us and guard us. Oh how I wish forgiveness was so easy, but it is often something we must turn over to Jesus, and then walk away. If I am to ask God for forgiveness then I must certainly do some forgiving of my own. I will not hold any hate in my heart because that will simply block forgiveness for me and blessings for me. I am not so sure that the old saying about "forgive and forget" is all the same item though. There are people who have caused me pain, loss of money, and hours of worry and anxiety.....and I can say that I do not hate them or hold any grudge, but I do not think I necessarily have to "forget" what was done. I simply do not have a relationship with some people due to the past, but I do not hate them at all. I can see them in a social setting and be nice but I just don`t want to keep company with them on a regular basis. God did say that he would "forgive their sins and remember their sins no more", but He is omnipotent and I am not. We MUST forgive others and with God`s help(the only way I can do it sometimes) we can. I don`t know about everyone, but I sometimes fail in forgiveness until my prayer time later in the day. When it seems that my prayers don`t get above the top of the room and there seems to be a lack of closeness with the Father, I am jerked up short and realize that the unforgiven things have created a rift in my relationship with God and has to be corrected. It`s usually not difficult to know what the unforgiveness is about, so things must stop right there until I do what I know I should do.

Being a Christian and trying to do things right is not always easy, but I treasure my relationship with the Lord, and I know the rewards that have been promised.

In Christ`s love,

Charlie

[Kevin Blankenship]

I use the term resentment, or the phrase "having a resentment towards so and so".  Bout the same as bitterness.  I agree with Thinker in that bitterness is an evil and corroding thread in our lives.  When the Scripture counsels us to not let the sun go down on our wrath....it is the love of God communicating to us that it will hurt US!!!!!

   Now.....back to the confrontational stuff  (bitterness is the byproduct of hurt that has been done to us.....I guess....am I right?).....but the confrontational stuff.......look at what dear Brother Paul the Spirit Filled Apostle said when the man standing next to him struck him on the cheek. He immediately "saw red" and said "God will strike YOU...YOU WHITEWASHED WALL!!!!!!!"   Paul didn't turn the other cheek and say: Here's the other one......give it your best shot!!!!  But Paul....a human like us.....is a frictionous (new word here) situation, reacted like a human.  But then, he turned around and said "Oh....I didn't know that this was the high priest for the Scriptures say....."  Plain and simple.....Paul lost his temper and shot back a statement to his attacker.  My point?  None.  Just adding to it.  Great topic. I am anxious to see where it goes.  Me? I am basically non-confrontational. I prefer to stay to myself.  I am the type who won't say anything to the person who is doing me wrong until I am furious. THEN.....my fury will assist my courage and together.....we'll get ourselves in all kinds of trouble. lol.   Not really funny. Just true. I'm a human too.  But striving to have the mind of Christ. Jesus didn't pull any punches. He saw how they were desecrating the temple........he was like a tornado going through there. He didn't simply say, real timidly:  Now you money changers need to stop.  Stop I say!  And then shrug his shoulders once and walk away pouting. He took action. Pretty rough action! Well, I don't think I am adding anything to this...... I'll wait for other responses. This is one of those times where I need to take the cotton out of my ears and cram it in my mouth.

[Ginger]

This topic is educational toward how we are individuals and each have suffered or been hurt, taken offence or become angry.  God's tender mercies and grace come to mind when I think of how self-centered I can be when something is said about me or to me that is either not true or more than unkind.... Well, I'd get hurt and tend to mull over it and it takes the Lord and His time to let me see what He has done in my heart that makes the difference.  Thinking I've forgiven a person can sometimes be too much for me to fathom.  Isn't it always Christ in me that makes the difference when it comes to forgiving?  I tend to get down on myself for getting down on myself and even this has been being too focused on self and being self-centered. Reckon it's unleashed pride.... What about when I was younger and my teenage daughter was bullied at school... reckon I got plumb bold and perhaps brazen in attitude... so sad to recall saying that I didn't care if so and so was Jesus and stating that I wanted to talk to the principle... now I see how that was brazen and worse... There was no regard for God in the least...  Never mind that I didn't have a clue about what I was actually saying.  Now as an old or older person I'm so thankful that my Lord Jesus has forgiven me and does help me to want to love Him and pray rather than react with rage.  All I know is the Lord has been very merciful to me in spite of my behaviors in years gone by, and now gives me something to think about that may give Him some acknowledgement, ... It does hurt and grieve my heart to have a loved one mistreated but I try to pray more and keep coming to the Lord asking for help to pray as He'd have me to pray and to remember He is God and HE KNOWS and will make things right that I can't....  Reckon even as an old lady I could act badly if I saw a person being bullied and if they'd been bloodied.... well, my mouth may overload the rest of me unless the Holy Spirit kept me in order.   Hope I'd not get a skillet or whatever and misuse it... I no longer know what I'd do and truly do not want to find out.  Keeping to myself and trying to learn from the Scriptures, teachers, and just appreciating ya all is the best I can do for 4 this now moment.  Kevin always has a way of writing something that nudges me and usually identify in some way..... Appreciate Thinker (Ron) and Charlie posts... and the rest of you all too... May we all be freed from any bitterness or resentments if there is a need and if we have been freed this is surely something to praise our Lord for.  Thank you for letting us be individuals Dear LORD an we need your tender mercies and grace moment by moment, please Lord and thank you, ....   I hush now and go see about finding some cotton and do something remedial...

[chipped china]

Great topic and one that makes you seek the full council of God. While Christ walked this earth He did not always turn the other cheek, and when He did it was  always His choice to do so and for our teaching. His friends could make Him cry in their unbelief. Jesus felt the full pain of being human just as we do when broken hearted. So what makes His Way something that we should value as greater than the hurt so we can emulate Him? Jesus understood the reality of the actions aside from the confusion and ugliness of what people said and did. Many times we don't have that luxury of knowing why someone or ourselves are so broken to see the motives. We also have to deal with our old sin nature.  So for me what I've learned is that God can set you free if you let Him. I try to remove myself from the chaos and see what is really happening and then address the real issue. I ask in humility for forgiveness when I see I have done harm. And lastly I try not to cast my pearls to swine. There are people you have to remove yourself from and just pray they get what they deserve. (the old woman)

[Ginger]

When someone really hurts me I try to seek to learn what God wants me to learn and how to pray for the person.  I don't want to get what I deserve and reckon I have to ask God to be merciful to the person that has said or done something that has hurt...When God has freed me from bitterness and/or resentment regarding the person and the event or events .... well, I want the person to be saved to the uttermost and to know the Lord and I just cannot pray for anyone to get what they deserve... if God gave me what I deserved or deserve.... well, I won't go there. 

 

This topic has been a personal blessing because God lets me see some of what He has done and is doing in my heart... I may not know very much at all so I just read and try to pray as God would have me to pray .... sometimes I do have tears fill my eyes and have to just stop and ask God what He wants me to see, to think, and to pray... How can I ever call another Christian a swine?  Some Christians have been hurtful and it's not for me to say that Jesus didn't save them.... He's still working on and in me and I say and do things that don't sound like I'm a Christian or maybe are just Christian sounding words... O Lord please forgive me....

 

Sometimes all I can think of is that Jesus said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do... and remember I need His knowledge else I be in perpetual ignorance... so I don't know very much about any heart or mind... just watch what comes out in a post or person to person conversation... How do I know who is a swine?  Do I sometimes act like a swine?  Well, I've just posted some perplexing thoughts and ask for prayer...

 

God blesses all of us and gives sunshine and rain to the just and the unjust...  I pray for the LORD to help us to love one another and to pray for folks that have hurt us or may hurt us again... Don't I have the option to not take offence if I pray according to God's will? 

 

Back to getting cotton and doing something therapeutic or remedial... gonna use some lavender water on my face and may add a drop of hyssop...

 

please forgive me for rambling on sooooo... and please pray for me.

 

God blesses us ....... have a Scripture to go look up and share....

2Pe 1:3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

2Pe 1:4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

 

I hope that I don't act swiney or whiney toward anyone, especially through the upcoming holidays...

 

Please forgive me for rambling... just sharing may not be inappropriate...

 

Love and prayers,

Ginger

[radar]

Bitterness, that is a sore subject for me. My mother, a professing Christian, sounds just like the woman Elizabeth described. She lives all alone and is alienated from all her children, who aren't saved, except me, Still hangs on to perceived injuries that happened 45 years ago with my father whom she divorced. I have had to take a break from the toxicity as I have warned her I will not listen to her bitterness about my family members when she insists on living in the past. I either have to hang up the phone, or leave her apartment like I did last Christmas day. It hurts, but works, as she now knows that to have a conversation with me, my dad is not a topic to be discussed.  She complains of being alone, stuck in her apartment, not having things everyone else has, no friends at the Salvation Army apartments because "everybody is talking about her". When I tried to explain to her that it wasn't everyone else, it was her,  I was accused of "slapping her down" just like everyone else. She then adamantly admits that she needs no help at all from anyone. The bitterness has consumed this woman and as my dad said 30 years ago, if she did not change her outlook, she would be a bitter old woman all alone in a room. Sadly, that prediction has come true. when she calls, If I don't drop whatever I am  doing at the time, and come right over immediately, even though it is something that can wait, I get accused of not honoring my father and MOTHER as the Bible states. She doesn't like it when I tell her it also says for parents not to provoke their children to anger.

 

I sometimes feel guilty and sorry for her but I try to do my best and leave the rest to the Lord. Please pray for us!

 

Shalom,

radar

[Thinker]

Radar, When I was hurt, I was advised to develop a genuine prayer burden for my offender, asking God to deliver them from whatever caused them to hurt me. That is a need to which we can minister in prayer. May I caution you to be aware of the danger of your mom's bitterness generating bitterness in you. When an emotional focus is established, it tends to reproduce in us the very thing that bothers us. Hope this is helpful. His Best! Thinker

[chipped china]

Ginger, I want to clarify a couple things with my above thoughts. I don't believe swine are believers. I think they are the ones Jesus say to: Go, I never knew you. And second I was being factitious when I said I pray they get what they deserve. My old nature still rears it's ugly head at times, my thoughts are not all perfect. However the bible does say vengeance is Mine, that's why I do still cling to that premise that His righteousness will prevail. Another thing that helps me is that I know we are fighting princes and principalities, that is where the real evil lies.  

Sometimes I can be a bit flippant, and not always right, so I just wanted you to understand. love, betsy

[Ginger]

O dear Betsy,  I didn't mean anything negative about your post... so sorry to be posting anything that would be misleading ... I tend to get unchristian thoughts when hurt and then can get stuck up to a point... and can say &/or write way too much...

 

 I don't get it about the factitious word...   seems it's supposed to be funny... need to look up words and Scriptures...

 

Like Radar I've had some issues with a specific person who is a Christian and can say some things that I react to on an unconscious level long after forgiving and even resuming limited contact... this person has used words and she's said she doesn't cast her pearls before swine to another person (not me) ...  who is a saved person ... some of us get stuck in some ways... I am so sorry to dump my words into a post and it come out as though I've inferred anything about what another person has posted...

 

Thinker posted about how an emotional  focus can cause reproduction of the very thing that bothers us...

 

Sometimes some folks in a family can say things that are hard to share about and writing a post I can get some things very cluttered.

 

So sorry to post anything that lacks clarity... I was not able to write clearly and still can't so will stop writing more that is not clear ...just sorry and have an issue I'm praying about...  The worst words I could ever hear would be Jesus telling me to depart for I never knew you...  you know the verse so I not go look it up... Just pray to hear Jesus say to enter in.... O to hear Jesus say, ''Enter in" and methinks He does even now... but that verse causes me to not think I do anything .... Well, I stop go'n on.... with words...

 

Betz, God bless you mightily with all good things now, ever and forever...do appreciate you... Thanks for reminding me about the principalities and powers ... I will keep praying and give thanks for you and all the folks who share and just try to be still...

 

past time to 'Hush' :-)  Thank you for posting!  I do understand and thank you for taking the time to clarify. You wrote a very good post... I just had a trigger hit that has nothing to do with anyone here

 

 I need to be still and not post for awhile.  I talk &/or write too much.  Sorry..... truly..... need to go to God with a Dear God letter and stop writing so much in posts...  just too much and too long post are not good for anyone.  Sorry to vent via post...  yet tankful to you all.

 

God bless.

 

Ginger

[radar]

Thanks Thinker! I wasn't sure I wanted to post, but glad that I did. I certainly do not want to become the very thing I hate! Since your reply, I have now discovered another person in my circle that I need to apply a prayer burden for also. Not that I don't not pray for them, but what you said has given me a FOCUS on what to pray for.

 

Shalom,

radar

[elizabethcog]

radar I will specifically pray for your Mother's heart,that Jesus will come meet her right there where she is in the misery of perhaps her own making,we made our cesspool He helped us out of too.It is so hard especially with family members it seems,even Jesus had some trouble with this,love in Christ

[Tamara p Moore]

Dear Mr thinker: I thank you very much for posting what you said I to believe you should not be bitter according to God's word but I also believe in not being passive a doormat or somebody fool!!! I was one of those people that always was the bigger persons with the forgiving heart and generous spirit. When I ask a family member why do people treat me the way that they do their response was because people think that you are weak!!!  When you are kindhearted loving and generous people take advantage of you like said what about the victim and the persons being over and over and over again being victimized? How do they suppose to continue to deal with such circumstances? That's my question to God everyday!!! Also I see by your statement you are a realist and so am I, I finally in my life started standing up for myself respecting who God made me and saying to all people in my life I respect you, you will respect me back and if you can,t get away from until you can and I don,t think that God minds that!!! plus God don,t want no weak soldiers in His army saying yes to peoples every whims and wants just to keep the peace and keep a friend!!! People give you all the love Scriptures but never other parts of the Scriptures like Matthew 10: 34 through 39 it's what Jesus said and it set me free from people their disrespect and letting them use and take advantage of me and I hope this particular passage of Scriptures help set a lot of people free too. I learn this very late in my life but I learned and thank God I,am still here to help people like me in similar circumstance!!! Keep the peace as much as you can, Love always from the inner truth in your heart , Stand having done all that you can let God do the rest!!!!! fight the good fight of faith and like Mr thinker said be happy and don,t be bitter.