12 replies to this topic

[Kevin Blankenship]

To my VERY precious sisters and brothers here at the Alliance Forums. I have just not been myself lately. But that is absolutely no excuse. If I have been short with anyone, or hateful, or defensive, or conducted myself in any way other than the way Jesus wants me to treat my sisters and brothers, and even the entire brotherhood of man,......PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I ask you to please, .......forgive me. I apologize. We all have our "crosses"  and mine is no heavier than any other. Alot of you gals and guys are dealing with stuff that is twenty times harder than I contend with on a daily basis. And still.....you are able to treat others well. I will work on doing that too.

  I am, obviously, referring to my defensive diatribe (that thankfully was deleted) on another thread. But also...in general. I'll do better. I promise.

    And now, I would like to pose a question to each of you. Answer if you will.....if you don't...no problem. I was going through the Law of Moses and counting the times that I broke a certain law that was punishable my stoning. i.e......cursing at parents, being a brat towards parents, dishonouring parents and a whole hosts of others. Hey, I started getting plum depressed...lol....sigh. I'm serious. I would have never made it to 30!!!!! I would have been stoned many times over.....although, the way I understand it....stoning was a one time punishment whose end result was the eradication of the offender...so as (I'm assuming) to keep Israel holy.  Have y'all eve done that???

   How does this apply to THE DEEPER LIFE??? Oh....MUCH....in every way. If I don't see myself as a law breaker....how would I ever know, or understand, that I need a Saviour. And how could I be grateful for a Saviour.  I would not understand why God went to such lengths to affect a method of reconciliation.

   Just think:  All of this Deeper Life stuff, Redemption stuff, Reconciliation stuff......WAS GOD'S IDEA!!!!!! It was all HIS!!! Not ours.

   I have come to the point to where I believe that MUCH, if not MOST, of my trouble accepting my salvation comes from a wrong perspective.  All of my life...my perspective has been: What can I do today to bring self satisfaction and happiness?

 When the CORRECT perspective is: What can I do today to make someone else...and SOMEONE ELSE (God)....happy  and satisfied today? How can I put a smile on God's face today?

      Anyway.....just rambling. Well.....the part after I asked for your forgiveness is my ramblings after prayer and Bible study.  The first part? I'm dead serious. I'm really sorry that I haven't been more responsive to y'all's post. Give me time. I'll...(with y'all's help) get over this self centeredness. Good night

[Ginger]

Hi Kevin, 

deleted words I'd put ... just know all the brothers and sisters here love and do all they can to help us. I wrote some things I wish could be deleted if they were inappropriate in any way.  Maybe this lets you know I may understand and can pray from that attitude.  God bless you and all brothers and sisters here.  One dear sister wrote such sweet words "....walked by your side in Spirit"  May I walk by your side in Spirit ..... God bless and comfort you.  Thank you for sharing your heart and  for being you.  Much of the time God's tender mercies and grace are about as much as my mind can wrap around coz I fail a lot and need something to hold onto mentally when my mind gets in some kind of storm.  Well, reckon I appreciate ya more than words would convey.... Bless you brother and may the God of all comfort be ministering to you as He knows just what you need... your sister in Christ, ginger

[Lori Smith]

Hi Kevin,

 

I've deleted a few posts myself. Praise God for grace!

 

Love you my brother, and I praise God for you. You have a very likeable spirit about you. You are easy to love.

 

Blessings,

Lori

[elizabethcog]

My brother as far as i can see there is nothing for me to forgive you of....quite frankly I just love you and each of those who open their hearts and struggles and trials and blessings for us all to share in, Jesus has already forgiven each of us and it is his,as you put so well,smile we seek as we love and forgive one another.So i ask for forgiveness as well and offer my forgiveness,even though I have not felt wronged, I give it freely..peace and love always in Christ

[chipped china]

well, I didn't read the diatribe but I can imagine it was just you being transparent and looking for what is real. You are always asking us to open ourselves so you can see our humanity as well has our godliness. You love the deeper life. I also think God may be showing you the depravity that we all have in our self centeredness. So when we also know we are saints, white as snow it's hard to get your mind around it. Without God we are but a filthy garment, but with Him, sons and daughters of the Living God. We believe Jesus stands in for us in front of the Father taking away our sins. So if we confess our sins and fall at His feet daily then we should be able to live out of the bondage that satan and the world convicts us of. Just make up your mind to believe the promises of God. Throw the the other stuff out. Be thankful and glorify our just and loving Savior. Love you Kevin and brothers and sisters, bets 

[Kevin Blankenship]

. . I also think God may be showing you the depravity that we all have in our self centeredness. So when we also know we are saints, white as snow it's hard to get your mind around it.

I think you have thought this through and nailed it. God Bless you!!!!!

[radar]

Wow Kevin, I thought I was transparent, but you, my brother are like the Israelite Nathanael that Jesus said was one in whom there was no guile (King Jesus Version)...I like the way you lay your heart out there and I will truly say that the people in this forum are safe to share with and very helpful, building up and not tearing down. I want to think the moderators for keeping it so. That is why I love it here, even though I have never seen any one of you face to face, I am getting to know everyone better as time goes by, and one day just as we will see our Jesus face to face so will we with each other. I believe that is all you need Kevin is staying on course and in time, as it was with me also, you will become more secure in your salvation. I remember one wise elder in the church warning me that after the mountain top of salvation there comes the season of sifting in the valley of decision. He told me this went on for him for five years. I am thankful for that old Saint, because I would have lost heart when the storms came. There are absolutely no offenses here with anyone, as everyone here is aware that we all have to deal with the fallen nature.

 

Shalom,

Radar

[radar]

Lori, Elizabeth, and chipped china, I also like what you all have stated, but once again I have ran past my daily quota!

[Kevin Blankenship]

Thank you Radar!!! Your words, coupled with the words from the othe sisters and brothers,  have helped me gain perspective and given me hope that my name is, indeed, in the Lambs book of life. Knowing Jesus, and having Him formed in me, is my primary goal.

  But now HERE is a contradictory remark: But my OTHER primary goal seems to be of my flesh and concerns me having everything I need to live a fulfilled and satisfied life.

 I have been praying over, and over, and over (likely approaching the number of times that the 'Persistent Widow' sought justice) that God would fill me with the Holy Spirit in such a way that I could start DETECTING a new-found self control (a fruit of the Spirit).

  It seems that in the Book of Acts....when believer's where filled with the Holy Spirit...supernatural stuff happened. Now....I hope that no-one takes this wrong. I am not "seeking a sign for it is an evil generation which seeketh after a sign, but none will be given it, except Jonah....etc". In other words, I am not expecting (nor am I discluding) a supernatural manifestation when this second blessing arrives upon me. From John the Baptist...I learn this: John the Baptist speaking: "Behold I baptize with water, but One cometh after me, Whose sandal thongs I am unworthy to undo,...He will baptize with fire and with the Holy Spirit." I often wonder: Has the ministry of Jesus, the Anointed One, of baptizing believers in the Holy Spirit, become a very very rare event?  Even Jesus said: "If you father's, who are evil, give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask." Well, I've asked. Do I now just BELIEVE that I have received?  And my belief is what makes it a real experience? I just cannot make that work in my head. Not after reading the Book of Acts.I am growing desperate for a "move of God" in my life. I need some help from Him if I am going to even come close to living a God Glorifying life., A self-controlled life.  A crucified life.  Even the old saints who left us books on the subject state that it is impossible for us, in our own strength, to live the crucified life.  Signed: 'Still Waiting But Not Giving Up Hope'

[Charles Miles]

Kevin,

 

I have been reading this thread and all the great Spirit filled replies that have followed your first post.   Now that I read your last post this morning, I feel that possibly something needs to be said.  We all seem to expect a "Saul to Paul" experience when receiving the Holy Spirit, where we are knocked to the ground and blinded, or "smitten" in the spirit,  But just maybe everyone does not have the same things happen.  You and I have been posting on here for a while now and I certainly have noticed some things.  Is there any way or time in which you can go back and read your first several posts on this site?  If you can and do, I think you will indeed see a miracle, and indeed it is supernatural.  Your growth in things of the Lord, your open spirit, your Biblical knowledge about things sometimes confusing to many, your earnest seeking spirit, and most of all, your willingness to open up your heart to help others.  Now, I ask you to think back 5-10 years ago and reflect on who you were then.  I would venture to say that you are not even the same person.  Now how is that for a supernatural event? A man sits here who is brand new! You are a new creature, a righteous man, a child of the living God, a co-heir with Jesus, you are able to walk boldly into the throne room of the God of the universe and talk with Him!  I would have to say that is quite a change, and a change that you could not make on your own.  To some sitting out here in cyberland observing your change, it would seem that Holy Spirit has made significant changes in your life.  If He made those changes then He is in there, in your heart so to speak, so you may just have already the thing you are asking for.

 

In Christ`s love,

 

Charlie

[Candice]

Hi Kevin,

Of course, we've communicated on our own and I hold nothing against you at all.  Not for one minute. 

 

Just on a side note, I think this sermon is excellent and would be beneficial to your spirit that goes along the lines of what you've shared on various threads here. 

 

I couldn't get it to link on my computer for some reason. So, if you wish to listen to this sermon:

 

Go to L2Today.com, then go to the pull down menu "Sermon Audio" and then scroll down to "Simple Christianity"  series and then open up the "Learn More" button and listen to Part - Internal Beginnings.

 

Brother, let me know what you think. Does this touch your concerns with the Lord?

 

I heard Russell McKendry (pastor at Denver L2 Church) on PIlgrim Radio one night last week when I couldn't sleep.  He was preaching from the series on The Book of Revelation. 

 

Hope this touches your heart.  Pray so.

 

Shalom,

Candice

[Lori Smith]

Kevin,

 

I was thinking about this post this morning because I was wondering how God can love depraved people like us (we all are born into sin, and we continue to sin even after we are saved). My thoughts were triggered by my recent forays into contentiousness. The contentiousness I am speaking of is the current political climate in this country. Indeed, I have some pretty strong feelings about what is taking place. As a result, I find myself yelling like a carnal person. Then, I feel remorse because I suppose I haven't changed a bit! How can I walk in the Spirit one minute and yell the next. Certainly James had much to say about acting this way, and I can end up feeling so hopeless, because even when I apologize to God, I'm still left with the understanding of how bad I can still act.

 

But, Jesus shared something with me that I find helpful. He said, He loves us for who we are meant to be, and what He can make us. I thought how can this be? Then He reminded me that God made man good--very good. It was the Fall that changed everything. The error  we make is thinking that God made us bad, very bad. Indeed, we identify ourselves by the present state instead of remembering our original state. That's why Jesus offered the story of the Prodigal Son--the son is good, but then he falls into a horrible pit. However, the Father still searches and longs for him, hoping he'll come home. When he does, the Father clothes him in righteousness and throws a party. We are all like that Prodigal Son, and even after we come home to God we still allow the flesh to rule. But, God still sees us as children, and how He created us to be. Plus, He sees how we will look when He completely restores us and glorifies us. Thus, we are not sinners saved by grace, we are restored people, saved by grace. 

 

Hope this makes sense!

 

Shalom,

Lori

[Kevin Blankenship]

I see something fairly clearly, but still a bit hazy, but still....I see it. I now know for a fact that God is using y'all to communicate His words to me. The stuff about: "If I'm saved....how could I still (have a fit......do this....do that)."   And Dr. Charles, what you wrote is a grand idea. I never thought of going back through my posts to see how my thinking has (either progressed or regressed) But nince you imply 'progressed'...I am certainly not one to argue with an MD!!!  Since daddy was one, especially.

  And Candace, thank you for that link. I will listen to it today. And Lori.....you nailed me perfectly. We seem, all of us, to be so much alike. And yet, in the world, we are so different, I assume. I mean....I'm a backwards type (as they call it around here when you like to keep to yourself.) ie: ' Oh.....Brother Kevin, he's a fine fellow,  a little backards....but still, a purty good feller'.   lol !!!!!  Hope I made y'all smile.   You caring enough to post in my thread certainly makes me smile....but more than that.....it, somehow, puts me in touch with another adult.