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Distorted Thinking ––The Two Edged Sword of Abuse and Neglect


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#1 Ginger

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Posted 30 September 2013 - 10:32 PM

What does a person do in old age who does not know what to do about roots of bitterness that were growing before any knowledge of the verse in Hebrews?  How does this Scripture apply to me as an individual who trust the LORD will provide.  Well, I reckon I'll read the Scriptures and think on the individuals in the story, look at the ongoing history a bit and pray for revelation knowledge from my Lord Jesus and be so very thankful for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

 

Long, long ago I would write and came to have a piece and now I just pray to grow in grace and accomplish what the LORD wants me to accomplish.  Been bogged down for many years over personally failing to maintain whatever needs to be maintained.   So depression, anxiety, other diagnoses, and what ever a person may think and say brings me to "GOD KNOWS and people suppose" and don't get into "opinionizing".

 

Distorted Thinking is nothing new, it began in the Garden of Eden and each day it seems to be reenacted in some form.  God says to do or not to do and we humans have thoughts of our own or what has been passed down in our families, and from culture, and from religion. 

 

I love a family member very much and this family member loves me very much too.  I have a problem and know it.  It is not my job to think on the other person's problem or to rehash or be fearful of judgment. 

Most of the time as I see things that come too late to change.  Like a loved one dying and then being able to see regardless of abuses the person loved me and we just couldn't come together because we couldn't agree about God and each one went their own way. 

 

I came to this forum for a place to fellowship and have been blessed by your posts. 

I don't know what to do to make a close relationship with a loved one and realize God KNOWS each heart and every thought so I won't suppose to know anything about another because I do not know what abuse or neglect has been a two edged sword in his/her life.

 

All I know to do is write and fret not... and the comfort the Holy Spirit just gave was a chuckle from deep within... like it sprang up into a GodSmile.

 

I'd like to post a piece the LORD gave me many years ago for my birthday and ask you all to share as the LORD leads about distorted thinking and how to let go and let God love us, and accept that changes us as He deems best. Please pray for me to prosper in accomplishing things as God wants me to and that I can leave off the words should and ought.  Oh to do all things for the love of God as Brother Lawrence did, practicing the presence of God.

 

Thank you so much ....thinking of individuals, and each of you are very precious. 

 

God bless.

 

Grace and peace,

Ginger

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

"ATTITUDES of HANDS"

Hands are and always will be important.
They hand a language all their own.
Much of the way that  hands are used are
portrayed by attitudes, showing the heart.

 

There is the attitude of the hand
outstretched, palm up, this says,

"Give me", almost demanding.

A claw-like position says, "I'm going to take".

The fist declares,  "I'm going to make".

All of these are selfish;
they receive, they take, they break.

 

There is another, it's very lonely,

It's raised toward heaven

crying out in deep despair;
bringing hurt, anger, frustration,

loaded with cares.

 

Hands can become an attitude

of full surrender, not in fear;

but willing and longingly

reaching toward God.

This attitude finds Him always.

This is where he can remove despair.

 

Hands are made for caressing

and to brush away a tear,

to earn our daily bread with

 and to give thanks with prayer.

 

Hands were made to be of service,
to reach out, to share,

extended in friendship,
need and trust.

Here a hand with a need
always finds another hand willing to accept.
Each one giving, each one receiving,
HONOR, LOVE, and TRUST.

 

–My Birthday Gift from God, 1981


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#2 Julie Daube

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 11:00 AM

Ginger, thank you for sharing your struggles and asking for advice from other believers. That was very wise of you.

 

I came across the following article in a blog today and thought it might help. As someone who has struggled with bitterness myself, I thought it contained excellent, godly counsel. I pray that the article will minister to you and that God will speak to your situation through it.    

 

http://unmeritedgrac...tructive-fruit/



#3 Julie Daube

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 12:09 PM

Here is something else that occurred to me . . . the more time we spend in the Word, the less distorted our thinking will be. Praise the Lord for His words of life!


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#4 Ginger

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 02:21 PM

Hi Julie,

Just want to thank you for sharing what you've shared. 

 

I'd like to share that I've also tended to take blame for most things and tend to believe if something is wrong it must be because I've failed to forgive and God never allows anything to come at me from any person but what He will use it for His glory. 

 

If a person verbally assaults me I'm not to let it derail me but  to praise God and pray for the person.

 

I'm in the Bible or audio Bible teachings more hours a day than anything else.

 

Is it possible perhaps that my sin of pride issues have to do with being condemned, discounted, shamed, blamed and letting these issues whip me down?  I don't criticize another person.  However, I do criticize myself and examine my own conscious thinking instead of another person's faults.  I've allowed rebuking words to demoralize me as a human being because of what bothered another person.  Even when a partial truth is one-sided leaving me or anyone else with only being wrong and at fault the God of all comfort lets me see how damaging  only a piece of truth can be.   A person can have a potato but other ingredients are needed to make potato soup....  Same applies when taking one item of what is said ...... Reckon God KNOWS the whole and I pray to keep things in context with what He says....  as I strive to not offend anyone....  A post here is sort of like a page or so from a book... it takes time for us to get to know each other.  I do enjoy what individuals post and pray that we help one another to sort things out and pray for the Lord to be giving us His wisdom.  Sometimes we just do our best to help and leave the rest to God and pray to not hinder.

 

One resource I've use and have installed the whole set is Biblical Counseling Keys by June Hunt.  She has the programs Hope for the Heart and Hope in the night online and on radio.  I look to see if I have a critical spirit and will have a look Biblical Counseling Keys - Biblical Counseling Keys – Manipulation: Cutting the Strings of Control. 

 

I have prayed over family issues for so long that one day the LORD showed me that I cannot change anyone and it's not always my fault.

 

I pray for God's will in all of our lives and for His kingdom rule in our individual hearts. 

 

Sometimes I've been aware of another person having answers and not knowing the question.  Thus I do my utmost to not know what another should or shouldn't do.... but rather  look to see if I may learn what the actual need may be.  It is just hard to give this to myself and also consider the other person as more important or to make sure I don't put the other person down. The blood of Jesus paid for each and every sin and is too precious to ignore... And last but not least.

 

I have been redeemed and by the blood of the Lamb.  This is ultimately my testimony.  Why?  Because it is written in God's Holy Word. Rev_12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

 

GOD KNOWS the whole story of  each and every person ever born and I don't know very much.  But God lets me think about things and brings things to my remembrance by the Holy Spirit too.  Sometimes I can even give myself Bible bumps and my Lord Jesus lets me see the humor of some things.  Can't solve a problem unless it is accurately identified.... so I get to sing a line from a song for now...... "Love lifted me, Love lifted me. When nothing else would help, "LOVE LIFTED me".... Jesus brought me to the peaceful shore.... I just need to wait on Him to work in some family relationships....  How old were Abraham and Sara?  What did they do to help God out?  How does what they did affect all of us to this very hour?

 

Julie, thank you for caring and for sharing.  I didn't mean to write so much. 

 

God bless you for your patience.

 

Grace and peace,

Ginger



#5 Douglas Hautz

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 07:50 AM

You ARE loved....a daughter of The King ... your identity secure. 

 

I have no quick answers.  I know that for me it was important to know what God says about me.  I heal as I allow Him to live.  


Doug Hautz


When you and I stand together in the presence of God- knowing and seeing who He is and all that He has done in His sovereign power to move us from birth to "that Day"- we will pour out our thanks and praise to Him, joyfully doing our best to shake the rafters of heaven.


#6 Ginger

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Posted 02 October 2013 - 03:42 PM

You ARE loved....a daughter of The King ... your identity secure. 

 

I have no quick answers.  I know that for me it was important to know what God says about me.  I heal as I allow Him to live.  

 

Thank you Doug!!!



#7 Julie Daube

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 01:02 PM

Is it possible perhaps that my sin of pride issues have to do with being condemned, discounted, shamed, blamed and letting these issues whip me down? I don't criticize another person. However, I do criticize myself and examine my own conscious thinking instead of another person's faults. I've allowed rebuking words to demoralize me as a human being because of what bothered another person.

Doug is right - you need to focus on what God says about you, and this is probably one of the most important: "There is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1).


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#8 Ginger

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Posted 03 October 2013 - 01:46 PM

Thank you Julie,

I'm looking at the link you shared too. 

 

God bless.

 

Love,

Ginger



#9 Michael A. Clock

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 05:36 PM

Ginger,

The best advice I can think of or any of us to give with out knowing every bit of this story is to,

Hate the sin but, Love the sinner...

In this way you will remain pleasing to the Father...

Rev. MIke