27 replies to this topic

[Charles Miles]

mdp

First let me tell you right up front that what you wrote is not a faux pas. It is a cry that people have been making since the time of Job. God loves you so much you can`t even imagine it, the volume of His love for you covers the universe and more, so even if the doubt of yours is real, the fact is that God loves you and has known you since before time began. Satan is crafty and knows the human mind to the point he can slip those thoughts of wothlessness into our minds through many avenues.....but all that worthlessness stuff is just not true. If we were wothless to God, then He would not have come and sacrificed Himself on the cross for us. He actually loved you so much that He died a terrible death so you could be free to choose a relationship with Him. Yes, life can be hard at times and it seems as if we are all alone fighting a huge, overpowering force that is about to consume us, but God is right there beside you and His love surrounds you to a degree none of us can understand. mdp, it seems to me that you know the Lord and who He is...this will help, but can I ask if you have a personal relationship with the Father? I certainly do not ask this to insult you or put you "on the spot", but it is just a thought from one who recently went through a crisis and learned that he didn`t have that "relationship" that allows one to fall into the arms of God and cry for help. God is there, He is closer to you than your next breath and He desires this "relationship" with you. A blessed life WILL result from a personal relationship with the Father, but by "blessed" it does not mean that the life will be without challenge. Life changes, people change, situations change, and often all this can be terrible for us, but the love of God for us does not change....never has and never will.

I`m sure you will get some very good advice from some very fine children of God on this site. They are fine people and fine christians....I love them as brothers. Read the comments and listen to the spirit of love that is manifest. Come and join our community if you wish....you will be blessed. BUT, by all means, whatever you have to do, always know that God wants you as a member of HIS family and desires a personal relationship with you....every minute of every day. With that comes a peace that defies understanding.

Your brother in Christ,

Charlie

[mdp]

Dear Charlie and Lori,

Thank you for your kind responses.

Charlie, to answer your question: Do I have a personal relationship with God, our Heavenly Father? Yes, through His Son, Jesus. I asked the Lord to be my personal Savior when I was 7 in children's church. The road has been long with bumps along the way, but this last year has been a place in the road where I have been crippled and broken.

I have served God through church and through teaching/leading Bible studies over the years. I felt I was "walking in a manner worthy of my calling" and pleasing God. Two months before my life fell apart, the women's ministry at my church invited me to serve along side them. I truly regarded that invitation as a personal invite from God to join Him in His work there. I was scared but excited to listen to concerns of the women and pray with them. I felt so blessed. God was so good to let me help in this way.

Then one night, two months into the ministry, everything in my life changed. That was a year and a half ago. The thorn has been there ever since, along with the pain. I don't know how to live with the pain. To say trust God for strength seems unhelpful. I have been doing nothing but begging God to help me some way...any way.

Lori, thank you for the link. I will look it over and pray. Your last comment (if I understood correctly) is where my studies have led me too: the promised blessings are not so much in this life, but in the life with Him in eternity. However, Christians that I have talked to get angry when I say that and accuse me of losing faith. But ... if I have to live with a painful thorn and God doesn't take it away, how does one walk in spite of pain?

Thank you again for your thoughtfulness.

[Charles Miles]

mdp,

I too joined the church at an early age(9) and just cruised along, thinking that was all that was needed. That is until a major, and I mean major, setback happend several years ao that rattled my whole life and belief system. I got to the point of....well, sounds like you are at that point.....something had to be done or I would remain a miserable, sad, broken human for the rest of my life. I went to the Lord and told Him that I was saved at 9 years old, have been a christian since then, tried to do well, studied the Bible and knew all the stories in it....but if this is all there is to christianity, did I make a mistake? The answer was..."Yes, you know all about Me, but you don`t KNOW Me personally and we don`t have a personal relationship". A crushing blow, but truthful in all aspects. Since that time I have made it a point to actively seek and maintain a personal(close) relationship with Him.......every day of my life. The result? Peace, rest, loss of anxiety, ability to love others much more easily, Holy Spirit sits with me when I read the word, I don`t worry, and my desire to be close to Him has increased day by day. The major setback? Well, it went away. I don`t even remember how it was solved, but it just lifted off me. I gave it to Jesus and asked Him to handle it because it was too much for me....it left.

The cross is a door that opens the Kingdom of God for us and we can live in it TODAY. Many think we have to die to enter His Kingdom.....not true at all! Yes, part of the kigdom is to come later, but we can use the keys He gave us to enrich our lives right now. You see, He gave us the keys OF the kingdom, not the keys TO the kingdom. A key TO something opens the door for us to go in, well that door was opened by the cross and if we choose to walk through that door(it is open and available for all), we can live within God`s Kingdom. These keys given to us are to things we have acess to that are already in this kingdom. Want peace/ Well here it is. Want comfort, well, it`s here too! I have been amazed by what I have stumbled into within this kigdom Jesus spoke of during His ministry. How do I know the kingdom is available to me today? Jesus told the deciples that before some of them died, they would see His kingdom here on earth. Well, they are all dead now(except Christ) so unless He was wrong(don`t think so), we have kingdom living available to us now. This kingdom living is a really, really good deal for us children of God, brothers in Christ, and co-heirs with Christ to all.

Sorry to be so long...but. I noticed something in your story. Your attack happened after you agreed to work with the women`s ministry and began to do some good there. Satan is really not going to mess with you if you are sitting on the sideline, but when you step out to help, speak, minister, well there he is. Satan is a defeated foe and he knows it. He can still cause us to be placed in difficult situations, but knowing that you are a child of the living God gives you/me/us the ability to call on the name of Jesus. At the sound of His name, every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord.....satan is stronger than me and stronger than you, but he is nothing but a whipped dog when compared to our savior and our Lord. In the name of Jesus, you will overcome and you will live a blessed life.

Your brother in Christ,

Charlie

[chipped china]

There have been some great truths written above and I've taken them to heart. The reason I'm commenting is because I want to support you though this difficult time too. I was married twice and both husbands were unfaithful to me. The pain was so deep and bitter it can destroy you. I didn't have Jesus to help me through so I turned to alcohol and other men. It was positively the worst time in my life. I was pathetic. You have a right to be angry, it's part of the healing process but with God the anger should over time turn to acceptance and forgiveness. What I learned from my painful experiences was that for most of us we will find there is no one that will not let us down at some point in our lives, us included. It is only the love of God that does not disappoint.
And if we put others in a position of being God we will only be disappointed. I know the Bible says that in marriage two people are to cleave and become one, the husband is love the wife as Christ loves the church, and the man is to be head over the wife and love her like Christ loves the church.. even giving his life for her. That's a big responsibility for a man, and a difficult one to sustain especially if you still have a finger in the world.
I tend to think this scripture is a guideline for showing the dynamics of marriage so you can live in harmony but I don't believe when a couple cleaves that means that God isn't foremost in the cleaving process. Without His glue holding the two together it can easily get off track. For myself I have to love God more than my husband, I will no longer place my man where God should be. We live in a fallen world and unless our desire and love of God is greater than our earthly physical and emotional needs we will go on sinning, forgiven but still sinning. This time in your life may also turn out to be one of the most blessed times because God will show you it is in Him that you find refuge and protection. His love is without fault and He will never let you down. I think this could be a real wake up call for both of you to deepen your relationship with Christ. And if you place your trust in Him, you'll both find a freedom that nurtures your relationship. If you look for the riches of God you won't be looking for the rags of this world. My father had a long ugly affair when I was in my early 20's. (40 yrs ago) It ruined my mother and she never really got over her bitterness. She made my dad pay until she died. Thankfully, he stood up to the task. I don't want you or anyone else to have to live that way.

I've had many years to look back at my life and try to figure out what went wrong. For me, it was a problem of really not knowing how to love and putting too much responsibility on the man for me being OK. What God has taught me is that my worth comes from Him, I stand in Him not the world, my ex- husbands or even my loving family because honestly none of them know how to love like Christ does. He has no fear or anger, or condemnation. He just puts His finger on my sins and short coming and lets me look at them so I can repent, make amends, or ask for His help. I try to please Him because I love Him so deeply. I know there is no excuse for infidelity and I'm just assuming that's the problem but I think there will come a time when the Lord shows you ways to deepen your love for your husband that draws him to you all the more.

As for your women ministry, you have a huge opportunity for God to use you where the rubber meets the road. Be transparent in love, let them minister to you, show other women the true power of our Lord and Savior. They are your sisters and should be there to uplift you. Don't put yourself on a pedestal or let them take that place either. As long as you aren't blatantly sinning , don't let your pride get in the way, you are every bit as worthy to teach and pray as they are. You're in my prayers, Betsy

[Charles Miles]

mdp,
Early this morning I awoke for no reason, but you and your situation were on my mind. You actually haven`t asked for prayer, but you got it anyway....I would also think there are several others on this site in prayer for you. I don`t have any solutions for you, but the Lord will provide whatever you need when asked, He said He would. If you ned strength, safety, mercy, and peace...then all that was requested for you before dawn today. May God bless you far more than any of us can imagine.

Your bother in Christ,

Charlie

[mdp]

Dear Brother and Sister,

Thank you for your prayers and godly wisdom. I have been hiding since this whole thing began because I feel so ashamed over what my husband has done. I pulled out of everything. So many people were trying to help, I was so desperate for help, that I could not hear God's voice anymore. So I have isolated myself, more or less.

Without going into the specifics, my husband was recently released from prison.He seems to be a repentant man. However, the wound that has been festering for the time he was "gone" has been re-opened. I guess God is working to somehow heal things. I am trying with all my being to focus on the love God has for me.

Thank you again.
mdp

[chipped china]

Dear MDP,

You're in my prayers, and God has you. He will work this out. I pray you will know this. bets

[Pastor Robert Young]

Dear Sister in Christ,
As I have read your words relating to your situation I, like those who have replied have assumed that your distress was related to an unfaithful husband. But your last remarks reveal a much deeper malady. I will only add to the very good christian advice you have already received by saying this; In our attempt to live a life honorable to Christ there a few things we are not cabable of doing. Understanding that while Jesus was 100% man He was also 100% God and in that respect we can not be like Jesus. We do not process the ability to "know" what others are cabable of doing, Only God can do that and we can not bear the sins of others, only the Christ can do that and He did so on the cross. Your worth is not determined by the acts of others it is determined by the blood of Christ. If we seek our value from anything else we will always be disappointed and our self worth will always be much less that its real value. The shock of discovery can be devastating to the trusting soul and when we discover that the one we trusted in has destroyed our faith in them by acts to horrible to mention, We beat ourselves senseless with questions which have no answers. I have discovered that there is no real acceptable answer to the question "Why?" But there are questions which have acceptable answers, like, Where? Where do you go for refuge from the pain that wraps itself so tightly around your soul that at times you can not breathe? you go to the Lord and confess your total inability to walk this path alone and seek His compassion. How? How do I deal with this shame and reproach? I go to the Lord and ask. How can I be used to bring glory to your name? The lie is that you are worthless, the lie is that it is your shame, the lie is that you can not be used of God till all this is over. The truth is that your value is in christ, the truth is that you can be used right now to bring glory to God, the truth is, this is not your sin to bear but your husbands and he is the one who must bring it to Christ. The truth is, that you can not pay for His sin and thats what you are trying to do. Do not let Satan keep you from what God has called you to do by wrapping you in this shame. Give God the Glory He deserves by letting these marks of shame be a sacrifice unto God and believe that He is able to give you the strength to serve Him. Running and hiding has never solved anything, Standing and serving will always bring healing. my last words are these, if you have not already done so, find a good christian counselor or pastor who can stand beside you and offer direction.

Serving together
Pastor Bob