9 replies to this topic

[Candice]

Is is ok to stay home and worship. I really have spend the entirely of the past two days in exclusive consideration of worship while reading Tozier's "The Purpose of Man: Designed to Worship." I am struggling with being a mediocre Christian, at best. I go through periods of intense deeper life pursuits, only to pitter out because of some defect (sin) in me and all around me is this horrible, dead Christianity. My husband, son and I have gone to a church for three years and barely know anyone. It is all about works. It is such a cold church. We live in a rural town and find that all the churches we have visited are either wacky, dead or legalistic. It truly is breaking my heart, especially with respect how to raise a son who is now 14 years old and tell him that God is still on His throne. I have given up. My husband could care less. I am in such a crisis that I'm considering just leaving; gathering what money I have and going to China or somewhere else to get away from American church! I feel I can't get to what Tozier's talking about; what he summarizes from the Scriptures about worship. I desperately want this, but something's wrong. People think I'm too serious about this.

[Lori Smith]

Candice,

Peace and blessings to you! How wonderful that you desire the deep things of God! If you desire them, it is because God is desiring you. That's a blessed place to be. Since He is tugging upon your heart, He will also satisfy your heart. Seek Him for answers. He had me spend some time alone with Him for awhile. Just recently He has placed my husband and me in a church; we are only now ready for this church because our hearts are prepared.

The book you have just read is one of my favorites! If you do what is written in the pages you will have a wonderful journey with God. That means wonderful days are ahead! Don't give up; life is just starting. Spend quiet time with God, read Scripture, read lots of Tozer, and find other authors who know how to seek God's heart. Here is a website by a CMA professor that has some good things to contemplate: http://deepwellswith...s.blogspot.com/ Certainly, when the time is right, God will find a church for you as well.

Blessings,
Lori

[chipped china]

Hi Candice,

I too am sort of where you are in my walk and I'm trusting God that he is preparing me for His work and I live for the the little God things that happen daily in my discipleship.(Lori said that very well too)
I did receive a devotional today that helped ease my guilt a little. Guilt from Satan I believe. One thing I have come to believe is that the church in the United States is luke warm and people don't know how to rely on each other like some of persecuted or poorer countries. The US needs more people like you to wake it up, one person at a time. Look for the sheep
Assembling Together
May 28, 2012
"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Hebrews 10:25)
This verse is often cited as an incentive to regular church attendance, but it can also relate just as well to any gathering of two or more believers in Christ’s name. The Lord Jesus said: "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20).
It is fascinating to note that the Greek word translated "assembling together" in this verse is used only one other time in the New Testament, and there it is translated "gathering together." "Now we beseech you, brethren, by the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, and by our gathering together unto him" (2 Thessalonians 2:1).
In this verse, Paul was reminding the Thessalonians of his previous letter to them, in which he had written about the return of Christ and the gathering together of all believers to meet Him in the air (1 Thessalonians 4:15-17). Perhaps the writer of our text verse, since he was using the same unique terminology, was referring to the same event.
That is, whenever there is an assembling together of believers, it is in a sense a little preview of that great gathering in the skies when Christ returns, as we exhort one another to "look for him" (Hebrews 9:28), and so much the more, as we see the day approaching.
Since our text verse does not actually mention the church by name, it seems to apply to any assembling of believers. However, there is one very significant use of "church" in Hebrews, and it refers specifically to the coming meeting in the air, where we shall all gather at "the general assembly and church of the firstborn, which are written in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect" (Hebrews 12:23). HMM

[Lori Smith]

Well said Betsy! I thought I would add what the Lord was teaching me this morning. Jesus stated, "I am not able to do anything from myself. I hear and I judge and the judgement of Me is just because I don't seek My will but the will of the One having sent Me" (John 5:30).

What the Lord was showing me about this passage is that Jesus walked in tandem with the Father. When He said He didn't come to seek His own will, He wasn't saying that He simply accepted God's preference above His own, He was saying that He came to live the Father's will. In other words, He "abided" in the Father (See John 15:5). Jesus said we were to abide in Him as well (walk in the Spirit). However, most Christians live independently of God (by their own wills), instead of walking in the Spirit continuously and allowing the Holy Spirit to have complete control of their lives.

Hope this makes sense! Sometimes it's hard to write in words what God places in my heart. I'm praying for you Candice! Stay on fire for God and let Him fan the flames of your heart.

Lori

[Charles Miles]

Candice, We allhave been in your shoes or maybe we are still in them as far as churches are conserned. Are there any small groups in any of the churches you mentioned? If so, many of the small groups will ask people to stand up and discuss what is on their mind and usually that is to ask for prayer requests, but in your case it just may be the time to bring up what you are feeling. You may be surprised how many others in the church feel the same way but just can`t discuss it. At the very least it will start a discussion about what is going on in that particular church as opposed to what SHOULD be going on in the church.It may not be what they want to hear, but it certainly seems to be what they should hear. What can they do? Ask you to leave? If so tell them that is exactly what you had in mind, but you thought it was worth a try to see what their goals really are.
You are correct that true worship is done at home and often alone and the church on Sunday is a place to go for celebration and to gather together those who seek the Lord.....not just on Sunday. If the church is truely dead and won`t listen I certainly would leave. If the church is too legalistic, again, I would leave. But..But, maybe you are the one to come in and "shake the tree" so to speak just to see if any fruit falls out.
My prayers are with you,

Charlie

[chipped china]

Good wisdom Charlie, I will also pray for loving boldness in speaking to others His intentions for how we should care for one another.

[Candice]

Thank you to each of you for your replys. I am new to this forum-thing. So, forgive me if I mess up how I reply here.

YOu all make good, Godly points. I am very grateful that the LORD showed me this site and for your replies. This is a long process and it is apparent that the LORD does not want me to depend on any persons too much for my "life" in Him. As Tozer put it in his book, you have to let go of some "friends" as they can be dangerous to your spiritual growth. I'm paraphrasing greatly here. But, I've found this to be true, not that any Christian friend I have is a backslidden, carnal believer. It's just no one seems to be so "desperately" seeking the LORD. I don't know how to "talk" to God about it either. It seems to me that talking in my head to God in words isn't right all of a sudden! Maybe "right" isn't the word I'm looking for. Is it telepathic? No, that's not it either. Words just aren't it. I feel like one of those people described in scripture as always learning"but never coming to an understanding" paraphrasing again.

SInce we live in a small community, it is a gossip bag everwhere, at church - no matter. Our church is known around town as cold and dead, but our young pastor replied when I told him I felt it was unfriendly. He said his wife didn't think so, so we must be wrong. Her experience didn't match ours - so that was out. He said it you want to talk to someone...he gave me a business card of a counselor who is new at their church. This isn't it! I have to pay someone at the church money to talk about the LORD??? He knew this wasn't a "psychological issue"; it's spiritual. I told him: it's fellowship I so much want. Ii get handed a business card! If you leave a church in this town, if you question, it gets around that you are creating disunity. The few churches (decent ones anyway) are part of a group of "pastors united in Christ" and they report on this stuff to each other.

I have actual panic attacks...something so deeply evil is going on that it is really sublime and hard to describe. I worry about our son who is a teen and really has seen so much aweful stuff that he has no interest. This is heartbreaking, but who can blame him.

LORD, Come LORD Jesus, Come.....that's all I can say.
Blessings to you all,
Candice

[Joel Stoddert]

YOu all make good, Godly points. I am very grateful that the LORD showed me this site and for your replies. This is a long process and it is apparent that the LORD does not want me to depend on any persons too much for my "life" in Him. As Tozer put it in his book, you have to let go of some "friends" as they can be dangerous to your spiritual growth. I'm paraphrasing greatly here. But, I've found this to be true, not that any Christian friend I have is a backslidden, carnal believer. It's just no one seems to be so "desperately" seeking the LORD. I don't know how to "talk" to God about it either. It seems to me that talking in my head to God in words isn't right all of a sudden! Maybe "right" isn't the word I'm looking for. Is it telepathic? No, that's not it either. Words just aren't it. I feel like one of those people described in scripture as always learning"but never coming to an understanding" paraphrasing again.

SInce we live in a small community, it is a gossip bag everwhere, at church - no matter. Our church is known around town as cold and dead, but our young pastor replied when I told him I felt it was unfriendly. He said his wife didn't think so, so we must be wrong. Her experience didn't match ours - so that was out. He said it you want to talk to someone...he gave me a business card of a counselor who is new at their church. This isn't it! I have to pay someone at the church money to talk about the LORD??? He knew this wasn't a "psychological issue"; it's spiritual. I told him: it's fellowship I so much want. Ii get handed a business card! If you leave a church in this town, if you question, it gets around that you are creating disunity. The few churches (decent ones anyway) are part of a group of "pastors united in Christ" and they report on this stuff to each other.

I have actual panic attacks...something so deeply evil is going on that it is really sublime and hard to describe. I worry about our son who is a teen and really has seen so much aweful stuff that he has no interest. This is heartbreaking, but who can blame him.

LORD, Come LORD Jesus, Come.....that's all I can say.
Blessings to you all,
Candice

As I read your posts, Candice, I found myself wondering if your small town is very isolated. I can see why you would be in such a state over the church situation in your town if these churches are the only ones within driving distance, but are they? If not, I'd suggest trying other area churches: I started out in small town ministry, & can assure you one small town's problems don't reflect on American Christianity as a whole! There are many good churches out there. I'm sorry you've run afoul of some unhealthy ones, but you need not fee like your family needs to either stay home or be in a cold, legalistic or abusive church.

[William Kay]

Greetings and Salutations Candice, with the hope the Lord will guide you in your way.

You have asked some very good questions in my humble opinion. I would like to bring some things to the fore which may help you in your quest to understand and your journey with the Lord.

When I became a Christian, I thought everything was going to change; and change it did, but not the way I thought or even wanted it to change. Over the years, I have gone up and down with the Church. I don't read books by anybody where it comes to trying to understand what Christ wants from me, I just read the manual, the Bible; it has all the information I need; and I get understanding of things as Christ sees I have the ability to deal with. In feel that we are not babes in Christ just because we're new to understanding who He is, but because we have to grow in that knowledge before we can actually see what the plans are for our lives. Everyone grows differently and at different speeds. People, in my opinion, who want to jump in and learn everything Man knows about the Bible, the Lord and the Church do a disservice to themselves for not taking the time to walk toward Christ and put him on slowly, so as not to find out later, "uh oh, been doing that wrong !!!"; however, one of your issues at the moment is finding a Church you can 'live' with.

To that end, I'm going to give you some insight to what God has done with and for myself and my wife.

We started attending a church, I was a babe, yet this church, seeing the change, and the work I was doing, decided I was a candidate for their Bible College. I was all excited, thinking that the Church saw and understood where I wanted to go, and I was being prepped, pulpit time, teaching, etc. but I was in no way prepared to be a teacher, I was yet a babe... no matter how much I thought I knew, and they should have told me this; but, they didn't, and why, I'll never know, long story short, something came up that conflicted with my biblical understanding, and instead of teaching me why I was wrong, they just said, in short: 'cuz we said so.' I withdrew from that church when the elders wouldn't or couldn't give me biblical reasoning for what they were about to do.

We tried a few churches, left for the reasons you posted in your message; however, our kids began attending a church they liked cuz of the youth group. I went to this church just to be sure it was a Christian church, but I was not wanting to attend it because it had 'people' in it. I didn't want to go thru the issues that every church has (although many Churches will naysay as to the reality of it); so I told my kids I didn't want them going there, but they got up and went anyway. Being as it is my duty as the Head of house to oversee my children, my wife and I also attended. God never let us leave this Church, no matter how much we argued with Him over it; Hisanswer was always, just do what I ask.

We've been attending our Church now for ten or so years. We've done a lot of personal reading the Bible, a lot of deeper study and understanding, and I'm now at peace with what God has put me through in my life, the fire, the cool water, the ups and the downs. I don't believe for one instance that we would be where we are with the Lord if we hadn't gone through all the trials and travails, if we hadn't come to understand Hebrews 12.

We have also found friends in the church, we've found a family there as well. And like all families, things go up and down, but we love the Church and we allow our family to be in the learning curve they're in and accept that they are doing the best they can to get where God, thru the Christ, wants them to be. After all, He made them the way they are and He knows best.

Your brother in Christ,
Bill

[Julie Daube]

Greetings, Candice! I want you to know that I am praying for you. You have received from very good counsel from other members of this forum. I particularly liked Joel's suggestion of trying to find a good church that's not in your town but still within driving distance. If a church is spiritually dead or downright abusive, it doesn't sound like a place that's conducive to worship; going to such a church may not be honoring to God, because He wants us to worship Him in spirit and in truth. Revelation 18:4 comes to mind: "Then I heard another voice calling from heaven, "Come away from her, my people. Do not take part in her sins, or you will be punished with her" (NLT). In such a situation, it be worth it to try finding another church, even if it's far away.

When my husband and I first got married, we had a very hard time finding a good, Spirit-filled church in our town (it was a predominantly Catholic area in New York). We even attended the Catholic church in our neighborhood for about a year just to have a place to gather with other believers each week (I had been a born-again Catholic but left Catholicism shortly before I married my husband). During this time, we continued to visit other churches in hopes of finding one that was faithful to the Bible. Eventually, we found a wonderful evangelical church about a 45-minute drive from our home, but it was definitely worth the trip! I have known other Christians who drove many miles to attend the right church (in one case, a believer lived in Manhattan and drove all the way to eastern Long Island to go to church, at least an hour's drive). After we moved from New York to Colorado, it took us a while to find the right church again, but God was faithful to lead us to one where we really feel connected to the body of believers and where God is truly exalted.

Based on my experience, I would say, "Don't give up." God will honor your desire to worship Him with other like-minded believers. Just keep trusting Him. In the meantime, if possible, try to connect with other Christians in your town who share your passion for the Lord, even if it's an informal Bible study/prayer meeting over coffee.