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Divorce and Remarriage


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Poll: Divorce and Remarriage (54 member(s) have cast votes)

Is Divorce always doctrinally wrong, according to Scripture?

  1. Yes (6 votes [11.11%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 11.11%

  2. No (46 votes [85.19%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 85.19%

  3. I don't know (2 votes [3.70%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 3.70%

Is Remarriage always doctrinally wrong, according to Scripture, following a divorce?

  1. Yes (9 votes [16.67%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 16.67%

  2. No (43 votes [79.63%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 79.63%

  3. I don't know (2 votes [3.70%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 3.70%

Is someone who is divorced and/or remarriage supposed to live his or her life as a second-class Christian?

  1. Yes (1 votes [1.85%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 1.85%

  2. No (50 votes [92.59%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 92.59%

  3. I don't know (3 votes [5.56%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 5.56%

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#21 Ed Adams

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Posted 12 January 2012 - 03:44 PM

Yes I believe it's a sin and is forgive able. Jesus told a woman that was caught in sin but Jesus told her that her sin was forgiven but go and sin no more.

#22 David Carter

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 10:44 AM

Since we already have a couple of book suggestions, let me add another, but one which will make most of us uncomfortable because the view expressed is so strict. The Divorce Myth, by J. Carl Laney, is not for the faint of heart, but anyone who wants to consider how all of the directly relevant scriptures relate to each other on the subject of divorce should read this book.

Dick Lawson is right. The quiz is too limiting for the data to tell us much. I answered No on all three.

No, divorce is not always wrong. I base this view on the fact that under special circumstances Ezra and the chosen people entered into a covenant with God to put away their foreign (non-believing) wives and their children (Ezra 8-10). Also, Paul's reference to letting the unbeliever leave, and the Christian not being bound is not authorization to the Christian to initiate divorce, but under special circumstances to allow the unbeliever to leave (1 Co. 7). Divorce is not always wrong, but the circumstances permitting it are much more restrictive than we would like to believe. In Mark 10:11-12, and in Luke 16:18, Jesus grants no quarter to the one who initiates divorce. To divorce and remarry another is to commit adultery, period. In Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, Jesus grants that "fornication" (porneia in Greek, sometimes translated immorality or unchastity) is grounds for divorce. In Matt 5:32 He says that if you divorce your wife for any reason other than this you cause her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorcee commits adultery. In Matt 19:9 He says that if you divorce her except for "fornication" and remarry another, you commit adultery. Why use the word "fornication" as grounds for divorce, rather than the word "adultery". Laney submits that "porneia" in the Greek is also figuratively used to describe idolatry. There is further significance in the fact that Matthew is written primarily to Jews, to Israel, while Luke and Mark were written primarily to Gentiles. The early Gentile Christian reading Mark or Luke would not have had any inkling that "fornication" was grounds for divorce. This was specifically clarified to the Jews, and falls in line with how Ezra dealt with the problem in his day, in warding off the risk that Israel would again be infiltrated by the people of the land and led into idolatry. God had commanded them not to intermarry with people who were not of Jewish faith, and Jesus was upholding that command. But with the advent of the gospel, and many coming to Christ after already being married, new guidelines were given. Paul permits divorce if the unbeliever wants to leave, but urges the believer to accept them and let them stay if they want to (1 Co. 7:12-13, "let him not send her away").

No, remarriage is not always wrong. You may return and remarry your former spouse, provided he or she has not already remarried.
Paul is very specific about this. 1 Co. 7:11 says that if a woman does leave her husband, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband. This is instruction from the Lord (see verse 10), without specific reference to an unbelieving spouse, simply a spouse. Paul then expands the principle to apply to a man or a woman, and applies it with reference to an unbelieving spouse in 1 Co. 7:12-13. The believer does not initiate the divorce with the unbeliever, but is not bound if they leave. Some interpret verse 15 to mean the believer is free to remarry because the believer is not bound, but if you read verse 16 in light of verse 11, then the question arises, should the believer give up hope for reconciliation? I believe the answer is no. More could be said about special circumstances, but essentially I believe that remarriage is not always wrong, but most often is not permitted.

No, the person who has been divorced or remarried does not have to live as a second class citizen. But, if remarriage is sin for the one who sought the divorce (Matt. 5:32, 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18), and for the one who marries the divorcee (same verses), and also for the divorcee (this is implied because if the one who marries her commits adultery then he is committing it with her), then as a Christian we are bound by love to God and all of the principles of Christian faith to avoid sinning, which leaves us with Paul's rendition of Christ's command, in 1 Co. 7:11, that the divorced person remain single or else be restored to their spouse (barring that the spouse had remarried, see Deuteronomy 24:1-4). And last I checked, abstaining from sin did not make us second class citizens in the kingdom of God.

Special circumstances: These are harder to deal with. I won't attempt it here, except in brief to say that I counsel women to leave phyically abusive situations, but not necessarily to divorce, unless that is the only way in their State of residence to get legal separation and protection.

Don't think that I hold these views in a vacuum, as one who has it good and doesn't realize the hardship and loneliness my views may create. I do have it good, because God blessed me with a wife with as high a view of marriage as my own. But I was single till almost 41, and dealt with the fact that more and more of the "single" women I met were unavailable to me as potential spouses because they were already someone else's rejected spouse through the serial monogamy of our culture.

Friends, we need to be elevating the marriage commitment to the highest level, while at the same time recognizing it as a privilege, not a right. We need to contront the culture on this issue. For the single and the divorcee joy and peace can be found apart from marriage, through intimacy with Christ.

I know this is a hard issue. I know this is a lonely place, but I also know that God is there in the midst of it with those who reach out to Him.

Singles and divorcees alike can feel like second class citizens. But that is just not the case. While they don't enjoy some of the temporal benefits and blessings of some married people, there are, at least for singles, (I can't speak for divorcees), some privileges and freedoms that come with that status as well. Let us not assume that the singles are single just because they are unmarriagable or broken, nor that the divorcees are divorced because they were intolerable, incompetent, or guilty. Each has a story to tell, and God is at work.

Thank you for the book references. I hope to get copies and read up, because I really wrestle with how to apply all this in responding to requests from couples who want me to marry them. Any thoughts on that would be welcome.
David Carter

A blood stained cross, an empty tomb
For by His love He met my doom.
And now I stand in His good place
Amazed by grace, in His embrace.

..."Christ died for our sins, according to the Scriptures..." (1 Co. 15:3-4, KJV)

#23 David Carter

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 10:57 AM

Also, as to your statement: "To do His supreme work of grace within you He will take from your heart everything you love most." in relation to the issue in which it was posted (Divorce/remarriage) I also have to ask, do you believe the wife would become some of those ashes; especially if the wife is the original/first wife?


william, to answer your question could the wife become some of the ashes, I think Tozer, who was being quoted in the paper you read, was saying that in God's working in our lives He could take the things dearest to our heart, if it accomplished His purposes. In relation to this subject, consider Ezekiel 24:15-24.
David Carter

A blood stained cross, an empty tomb
For by His love He met my doom.
And now I stand in His good place
Amazed by grace, in His embrace.

..."Christ died for our sins, according to the Scriptures..." (1 Co. 15:3-4, KJV)

#24 Grudzinski1

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    "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained."
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Posted 26 June 2012 - 11:02 AM

Great book on the subject: http://www.amazon.co...lass christians

Thanks for your input.

#25 David Carter

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Posted 26 June 2012 - 11:04 AM

I have a question I would like to see someone answer: Is divorce and remarriage ever acceptable (from a biblical perspective) in cases of abuse and domestic violence? The Bible doesn't specifically mention this as a valid reason for divorce. However, scriptural teachings on compassion and mercy seem to suggest that the church should not reject a woman who divorced her husband in order to escape an abusive situation, especially if the woman feared for her life. In such cases, what would the Bible/Church say about a divorced person remarrying? Something else to consider is that a person who abuses his spouse has broken his wedding vows, since, presumably, he promised to honor and cherish his wife.


Julie, to answer your question, in cases of abuse and domestic violence, since the Bible doesn't specifically mention this as a valid reason for divorce, if you arrive at the conclusion that the overall tone of scripture would make it a valid reason for divorce, I merely caution you that something being a reason for divorce does not necessarily equal something being biblical grounds for remarriage. You may have to separate those two things. Some would argue that even adultery leading to divorce does not necessarily become grounds for remarriage on the part of the "innocent" party. I put "innocent" in quotes because I believe very rarely is adultery entered into on a whim by the offending party, where some other problem in the marriage has not contributed to the emotional distance which made the offender more vulnerable to the temptation than they might otherwise have been.
David Carter

A blood stained cross, an empty tomb
For by His love He met my doom.
And now I stand in His good place
Amazed by grace, in His embrace.

..."Christ died for our sins, according to the Scriptures..." (1 Co. 15:3-4, KJV)

#26 Bill Meyer

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Posted 20 July 2012 - 03:48 PM

Another helpful book on the subject is Divorce and Remarriage by Guy Duty. He does a very good of job of exegeting the greek of the relevant new testament passages, particularly the passage in 1st corinthians where paul states, if the unbeliever wants to leave let him leave and then goes on to say he not bound. one of the phrases to understand it the phrase "he is not bound". what does this actually mean and are their rights that are restored to a person who is "not bound"?

#27 elizabethcog

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Posted 04 September 2012 - 04:42 PM

God forgives whatever sin you have committed against Him.He knows your heart and the truth in all situations,even when words won't come he still hears your heart cry and your true sorrow and repenting of the sin He will not ignore......If I would have stayed in my first marriage with an alcoholic husband that told me he wanted to shoot my brains out and watch them slide....(you get the picture) well that would have been suicide for me.Sober i didn't worry much but when he brought the gun home for "protection" I really believe it was God that gave me the strength to leave with 2 small children.....I am still sorry that I couldn't stay but the thought of my kids and yes even my ex husband having to face life with the horribleness of what he might do.I pray for him always as he is still so lost in his addiction.
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#28 ADVRider

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Posted 23 October 2012 - 02:15 PM

I think poll question number three is totally loaded. The obvious inference from such a question is that remaining unmarried after a divorce is not a viable choice and to do so would relegate a person to an unfulfilled life. It cannot be honestly answered because it is leading and does not answer the actual question of remarriage. I struggle with this topic too because it is so common now in society and I have friends who have been divorced.

I believe in forgivness, but from what are we being forgiven of when a divorce happens? Is it the adultery or abuse, etc that precipitated the divorce? I believe we can be forgiven of all of this. But, does such forgiveness for these offenses automatically mean a person can in any and all cases, move on to another marriage? It just seems too easy and convenient today. And if so, what to make of Jesus's words? I don't have the answer, just asking additional questions. But it does seem that it is assumed since one has repented, then remarriage is automatic for all parties under any circumstances. What about reconciliation or even remaining single? Is marriage a right? There are some never-married people that God has called to that state. Again, just asking.

#29 analyn laud lanado

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 11:33 PM

hi i am from Philippines, i still wonder why some pastors allow other lay ministers to Bind couple even they are a victim of divorce? what really means by what God has joined together let no man put a sunder?

#30 CCF

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Posted 05 February 2013 - 02:15 PM

It seems to me that perhaps we are missing some of this... or over simiplifying some of it.

> First off "God hates divorce"... correct. Why? He does tell us. Mal. 2:12-16 - it has to do with tears ...
There are also other things that God hates... Prov. 6:16-19, and at times & in certain instances these seem to be accepted even honored in some Church circles. In fact it is at times this topic which allows some to gain a moment of pride over others within the fellowship. So why is it that we are focused on divorce?

> As to abuse... it is correct to say that Scripture does not address this subject. The question could be asked how prevelant it was in ancient times. In our world that claims to "value life" (at least some in some forms) we have become increasingly intolerant of violence. However it has been questioned if in the Biblical era if this situation (spousal abuse) would have been an issue or would it have been handled as it is in the "less civilized" parts of the world today... namely the family of the abused cutting off the head of the one who would dare to raise a hand towards their sister / daughter. Takes care of the question very effectively. NO I AM NOT suggesting physical violenceas retaliation for abuse; but am suggesting that in that era divorce wouldn't have been necessary in cases of physical abuse, but a funeral may have been.

It seems to me the question of "Second class Christian" may actually be the biggest question of the post. In this post-Christian world we live in the majority of people who we see coming to Christ as adults have made a series of bad choices. Does Christ's grace make them a new creature or are we some how allowed to "value" them based upon their sins? Is this then then ultimate sin?

No I do not want to encourage divorce.
No I do not like the destruction that it is bringing in lives.
But no... I do not think this is a situation that makes someone a lessor object of grace.

God Bless, Matt s

#31 jmartincdd

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  • Interests:, How to File for Divorce Online in New York is feasible because to a simplified process that makes use of online resources.

    Internet-Based Resources: Make use of online resources that assist with New York divorce petitions. Many websites include easy-to-use interfaces to make the procedure easier for you to navigate.
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Posted 31 January 2024 - 11:17 PM

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#32 charlotee

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Posted 05 February 2024 - 07:53 AM

Navigating the delicate terrain of divorce and remarriage is a journey filled with emotional highs and lows, and your comment resonates deeply with the complexities involved. The compassion and insight you've shared speak volumes about the nuanced nature of relationships and the importance of understanding, empathy, and personal growth. Acknowledging that each individual's experience is unique and that healing is a personal process is a refreshing perspective. Your comment encourages open dialogue, fostering a supportive environment for those who may be going through similar challenges. Well-articulated and empathetic, your words provide a comforting reassurance that even in the face of difficult times, there is hope for new beginnings and the possibility of finding happiness once more.

 

 

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