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The Pebble in my Shoe

Posted by cbuchwalter , 21 May 2015 · 1551 views

Paul talked about the thorn in his flesh, but I want to talk about the pebble in my shoe.

I was ready to go on my daily 50 minute walk, when less than two minutes in, I started to feel something irritate my right foot. Not a sharp pain, but definitely pain. Instantly, I could identify the problem- a pebble. I did the good old fashion ‘shake-it-out’ kick. The only problem was, I was wearing tennis shoes. After dancing and shaking a bit, that little rock settled at the toe of my shoe. All was well. It was almost as if that pebble didn’t even exist anymore. I kept on walking, but it wasn’t long before that pebble started bouncing around again, causing quite a disturbance in my shoe. I was getting annoyed and irritated. The irony is that the small rock had no idea the pain and frustration it was causing me. It’s a rock, it had no feelings, yet it managed to push all of my buttons. However, I didn’t feel like bending over, untying my shoe, releasing the pebble to the wild, putting my shoe back on, retying my shoe and carrying on. That was just too much work for a dumb, little rock. So I kept walking. I was doing my very best to ignore the pebble and act like it wasn’t there. It never went away, but I distracted myself enough to not notice the little pain/pebble in my shoe.

I sat through language school for three hours. While sitting and studying, no footwork is required. I went the whole class with that pebble virtually unnoticed. To save time, I took the bus home. More sitting. No sign of the pebble. But I had to walk from the bus stop to my apartment. Hello again, my little friend. Just a few more steps, my home was so close. I could endure the nuisance a little longer. Ah! Home. Freedom. I took my sporty black and purple tennis shoes off and left them by the door and went on with my evening. This morning, I was going to go for another walk. Before I put my shoes on, I remembered that pesky pebble waiting for me in my right tennis shoe. Waiting to drive me crazy. How long before I would break? No more! I took that tennis shoe, turned it upside down and out fell that pesky pebble. What a relief. No more pebbles in this girl’s tennis shoes.

Why am I talking about a pebble? Everyone has had that happen, no big deal.

Actually it IS a big deal because I realized this pebble was just like a person in my life- we’ll just call this person P for pebble :) Someone who has been frequently causing me pain and agitation unknowingly. I’ve done all the “leg shaking” possible to make P disappear, and it works for a while, but it isn’t long before P resurfaces. I keep living my life, doing what I normally would and pressing on. But again, P shows up in some way. I thought I had gotten rid of P and moved on. P doesn’t do anything. None of this is P’s fault, because P is entirely unaware of the situation. But I realized this morning I have to shake P out of my shoe.

That means forgiving the pebble for the pain and frustration it was oblivious to. If I don’t forgive, it’s like knowingly walking and leaving that pebble in my shoe every day. It’s a rocky road I walk, so it’s inevitable for that pesky pebble to find it’s way back into my shoe again and start driving me crazy. But I know it’s better if I stop and let it go. No matter how many times it creeps back in, that pebble does not belong in my shoe. I have to release it. I may have already “forgiven” the pebble, but again and again and again. I should not let the pebble determine how my walk will be. Do I let the pesky pebble ruin my day or do I release the pebble to the wild and carry on my journey? Ultimately it’s up to me to decide how much power I give that pebble in affecting me.

Do you have any pebbles in your shoe that need released?




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