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#1 Candice

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Posted 03 October 2015 - 04:53 PM

I just started to read a book by John Piper, "Don't Waste Your Life'.

 

There is just a hopeless sense in me after reading only several pages. I almost don't want to read any more.  "The wasted life". That's mine.  Even now, as a wife and a mother of a teenage son, I believe I've not given my life to Christ to use completely. 

 

Piper uses the example of a couple living the life of "retirement", collecting seashells as a waste of a life.  Yes.  My son does not follow Christ and I believe its all my fault.  Maybe I didn't really deliver as a spiritual mother as well as I thought I was.

 

So, we are told biblically that our life is no longer our own after salvation and then our joy should be full. These are not two separate paths; but one path.

 

I long to just let go and allow the Lord to use me as a missionary abroad. That's what I think and have long thought it takes to give my life over. To live in the service of others who have nothing.  To not care at all for my life, to give the rest of it - whether 10, 20 or 30 more years...just go full-stop til it's over. 

 

This is not my husband's calling. Not at all.  So, I am confused and believe I may be drifting for a long time to come.  I've prayed many times the Lord will just use my life, shaken up as He wills, to serve Him.

 

In the end, all I want the Lord to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant".  I'm in fear that He won't and I'll be a sore disappointment to Him.

 

 


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#2 reader

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Posted 04 October 2015 - 06:36 AM

Two Scriptures came to my mind as I read your post.  

 

Matthew 5 . . .

6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

 

Romans 8 . . .

11 But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.

13 For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.


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#3 Candice

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Posted 04 October 2015 - 05:12 PM

Reader, thank you!



#4 Meema

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Posted 05 October 2015 - 04:45 AM

Candace, FWIW, I know exactly what you are talking about. I’ve so been there, even recently, aching to be able to serve in a specific way, a way that I myself determined was the best way to use my skills. “If only, if only” seemed to be the preface to my daily heart talks with God. “Why not?” seemed to be tacked on more often as I have aged. 

 

I was so sure, years ago, that if I studied enough the art of writing, if I prepared myself sufficiently, one day I would write for Him. And I have actually. I wrote a column in a local paper for years and then it evolved  into a website. And then I learned how to publish books and I did. Eventually I launched a blog. I was so sure that was my God ordained path. That I was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend, a mentor, a prayer intercessor, were all labors secondary to my dream. 

 

But you know the old saying, if you want to make God laugh, make plans? Well, one day, actually not too long ago, feeling invisible and irrelevant, I had a come-to-Jesus, frank and brutal meeting with myself. I asked, “What have you accomplished?” and “What is the point of you?” I decided it was time to pull the plug. To admit that I had failed. To stop. 

 

I shared this decision with a close friend. Here’s what she said to me:

 

“Who do you think you are? Or better put, who do you think God thinks you are? What makes you think you can determine what God makes happen with even the smallest thing you do? This amazing creation, this art that God designed is not big because it is big. It’s big because it is made up of the tiniest bits. The tiny mustard seed births a might tree. God’s MO is seen in the way all things [great and small] come together for good for those who love Him.” 

 

And then, to add salt to the wound she had just inflicted, she added, “So what if you never see what God can do with your small efforts? So what if you haven’t fulfilled your dream according to your standards? So what if you feel limited and thwarted by one thing or another?  Isaiah said, ‘Here I am Lord, send me.’ And so God did. Was there a man of God more thwarted and seemingly unsuccessful in his efforts to stand for God?” 

 

I was stunned, instantly ashamed and I think bleeding internally. I had nothing to respond with. 

 

But that wasn’t the end of it. This was at the bottom of the Oswald Chambers’ devotional that very day: 

 

Wisdom from Oswald Chambers

Wherever the providence of God may dump us down, in a slum, in a shop, in the desert, we have to labour along the line of His direction. Never allow this thought—“I am of no use where I am,” because you certainly can be of no use where you are not! Wherever He has engineered your circumstances, pray. So Send I You, 1325 L

 

“Uncle!” I cried. “Okay! I get it!”

 

So, this is me, sharing what I learned - it isn’t what we think we can do, it isn’t what our hands accomplish or where our feet take us, it’s what God does with what we have to offer right where we are that defines how well we have served.

 

I have to say, once I got over the humiliation, it was liberating. I knew I could do something, even the smallest thing, like a quick prayer for a stranger, with the right heart, for Him, and it would be sufficient for that moment. Suddenly what was irrelevant was my smallness.


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#5 Julie Daube

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Posted 05 October 2015 - 08:52 AM

I just started to read a book by John Piper, "Don't Waste Your Life'.

 

There is just a hopeless sense in me after reading only several pages. I almost don't want to read any more.  "The wasted life". That's mine.  Even now, as a wife and a mother of a teenage son, I believe I've not given my life to Christ to use completely. 

 

Piper uses the example of a couple living the life of "retirement", collecting seashells as a waste of a life.  Yes.  My son does not follow Christ and I believe its all my fault.  Maybe I didn't really deliver as a spiritual mother as well as I thought I was.

 

So, we are told biblically that our life is no longer our own after salvation and then our joy should be full. These are not two separate paths; but one path.

 

I long to just let go and allow the Lord to use me as a missionary abroad. That's what I think and have long thought it takes to give my life over. To live in the service of others who have nothing.  To not care at all for my life, to give the rest of it - whether 10, 20 or 30 more years...just go full-stop til it's over. 

 

This is not my husband's calling. Not at all.  So, I am confused and believe I may be drifting for a long time to come.  I've prayed many times the Lord will just use my life, shaken up as He wills, to serve Him.

 

In the end, all I want the Lord to say, "Well done, good and faithful servant".  I'm in fear that He won't and I'll be a sore disappointment to Him.

 

Candice, you know as a believer that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So all of those accusing voices of things being all your fault and God being disappointed in you are from the enemy (who is called the accuser of our souls), not from Jesus, who is always for you and never against you.  

 

And even if you have made some mistakes in raising your son along the way, God can redeem any failures on your part and even use them for His purposes. There is no sin and no mistake we could ever make that is beyond His redemption. He can even use our sins for His ultimate purpose and for our benefit, as He did with Joseph's brothers when they sold him into slavery. If they had not done so, Joseph would never have been in a position to save his family from the famine.    

 

While there are times in every believer's life when the Lord needs to convict or correct us, I don't believe He is disappointed in us when we miss the mark. I believe that His heart is deeply, infinitely compassionate toward us when we fall short and He is ever ready to pick us right back up. And because we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, when God looks at us, He sees Jesus' righteousness. In God's eyes, we are sinless, blameless and beyond reproach because Jesus is sinless, blameless, and beyond reproach. The Bible even says that as Jesus is, so are we in this world (not sure of the reference).

 

I would encourage you to allow these truths to sink deep into your soul, Candice. Meditate frequently on Christ's love for you and who you are in Him. This is the only way to silence the accuser. I would even recommend speaking those Scriptures out loud over yourself (I probably suggested this in previous threads on these forums).

 

About your call to missionary service: Since your husband doesn't have this calling (at least not yet), it may be possible to fulfill such a calling in a different way than you might expect. For instance, you could go on short-term missions trips (Through The Alliance, there are many opportunities to take such trips overseas).

 

I just read recently about a believer who was born in Africa and moved to America. He had a life-long dream/calling to go back to Africa and be a doctor, serving among the poor who couldn't afford medical treatment. He never had the opportunity to go the medical school and wound up becoming a basketball player, as God had blessed him with tremendous skill in the sport. He became one of the highest-paid NBA players in history and used his wealth to build a Christian medical center in Africa. So even though he never became a doctor, he was still able to live out God's call to provide medical care to needy people in Africa. Like this basketball player, maybe you will have an opportunity to fulfill your call in some unique way that you didn't anticipate. Meanwhile, one of the most important things you can do is to pray for missions. In that way, you will truly be partnering in the work even if not physically there.   

 

Finally, if the book you are reading is causing you to feel ashamed and condemned, I would stop reading it (as for me, I would probably just toss such a book in the trash). There is enough shame-based teaching in the Body of Christ; I would recommend reading books that encourage and build you up rather than those that tear you down (two books I'd highly recommend are "100 Days of Right Believing" and "100 Days of Favor," by Joseph Prince).

 

May you be blessed and encouraged in Jesus today!

 

Julie


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#6 ADVRider

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Posted 06 October 2015 - 05:22 PM

Candice,

I don't know what Piper's book is about, but it does sound like it could be a recipe for condemnation. The Bible says God will judge each man's work, whether it was worthy or not, or birthed by God. Who's to say collecting seashells has no value? For a retired couple? John Piper could be a workaholic and not know it. It's God who determines our worth and work. He looks at our obedience regarding what He personally has told us, not what a man has told us. Not even what we have told ourselves at times. Do not receive the yoke of bondage others or even yourself would put on you. I recently mentioned Mary and Martha; meditate on Mary's approach to Jesus and realize that in proper relationship to Him, He can at any time speak or impress on you something He would have you do. We all long to please the Lord, but it's the abiding and loving that is the foundation of that, not the works. God calls forth the works as the fruit of our relationship as He desires and designs. Your life is not being wasted if you are earnestly seeking His face and not His hand, even if it seems like nothing spiritual is happening. If God is at work in us, that is just as vital as we think God at work through us is.
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#7 Candice

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Posted 06 October 2015 - 08:00 PM

 

“Who do you think you are? Or better put, who do you think God thinks you are? What makes you think you can determine what God makes happen with even the smallest thing you do? This amazing creation, this art that God designed is not big because it is big. It’s big because it is made up of the tiniest bits. The tiny mustard seed births a might tree. God’s MO is seen in the way all things [great and small] come together for good for those who love Him.” 

 

And then, to add salt to the wound she had just inflicted, she added, “So what if you never see what God can do with your small efforts? So what if you haven’t fulfilled your dream according to your standards? So what if you feel limited and thwarted by one thing or another?  Isaiah said, ‘Here I am Lord, send me.’ And so God did. Was there a man of God more thwarted and seemingly unsuccessful in his efforts to stand for God?” 

 

Wisdom from Oswald Chambers

Wherever the providence of God may dump us down, in a slum, in a shop, in the desert, we have to labour along the line of His direction. Never allow this thought—“I am of no use where I am,” because you certainly can be of no use where you are not! Wherever He has engineered your circumstances, pray. So Send I You, 1325 L

 

Meema,

Thank you for your considerate, well-thought response. I appreciate it and relate to the candid response of your friend as well as my best friend has said, "its not what you do; its who you are in Christ...your identify.  Resting in Him and abiding".  Well, it was some time ago and I understand but, still, I"d like to be used more for those WHO ARE ABSOLUTELY DESTITUTE! 

Also, I guess I see "the church" as really being underground and those believers in the persecuted church really need prayer and help.  I see America as a sad, sad country which has been all but left out of being persecuted for Christ.  Maybe that's changing. 

I agree with your friend though. And, thank you for sharing your story.  I agree.  My heart still hangs onto what could be I guess.

 

Candice

 

While there are times in every believer's life when the Lord needs to convict or correct us, I don't believe He is disappointed in us when we miss the mark. I believe that His heart is deeply, infinitely compassionate toward us when we fall short and He is ever ready to pick us right back up. And because we are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, when God looks at us, He sees Jesus' righteousness. In God's eyes, we are sinless, blameless and beyond reproach because Jesus is sinless, blameless, and beyond reproach. The Bible even says that as Jesus is, so are we in this world (not sure of the reference).

 

I just read recently about a believer who was born in Africa and moved to America. He had a life-long dream/calling to go back to Africa and be a doctor, serving among the poor who couldn't afford medical treatment. He never had the opportunity to go the medical school and wound up becoming a basketball player, as God had blessed him with tremendous skill in the sport. He became one of the highest-paid NBA players in history and used his wealth to build a Christian medical center in Africa. So even though he never became a doctor, he was still able to live out God's call to provide medical care to needy people in Africa. Like this basketball player, maybe you will have an opportunity to fulfill your call in some unique way that you didn't anticipate. Meanwhile, one of the most important things you can do is to pray for missions. In that way, you will truly be partnering in the work even if not physically there.   

 

Finally, if the book you are reading is causing you to feel ashamed and condemned, I would stop reading it (as for me, I would probably just toss such a book in the trash). There is enough shame-based teaching in the Body of Christ; I would recommend reading books that encourage and build you up rather than those that tear you down (two books I'd highly recommend are "100 Days of Right Believing" and "100 Days of Favor," by Joseph Prince).

 

May you be blessed and encouraged in Jesus today!

 

Julie

 

Julie,

Thanks for your encouragement.  I really think I will put the book in the "cloud" as I hate performance-based stuff anyway.  I like the story about the basketball player. And, that is really Christ at work and not the person!  I would love to go overseas on a short trip. I've got a brother in Christ who has his own ministry, Vision Beyond Borders in Bozeman, MT.  I've thought about short trips before and I'm afraid I'll throw out the return ticket if I go somewhere!  I like the "grace revolution".  Thanks for sharing!

 

 Do not receive the yoke of bondage others or even yourself would put on you. I recently mentioned Mary and Martha; meditate on Mary's approach to Jesus and realize that in proper relationship to Him, He can at any time speak or impress on you something He would have you do. We all long to please the Lord, but it's the abiding and loving that is the foundation of that, not the works. God calls forth the works as the fruit of our relationship as He desires and designs. Your life is not being wasted if you are earnestly seeking His face and not His hand, even if it seems like nothing spiritual is happening. If God is at work in us, that is just as vital as we think God at work through us is.

Thanks ADVRider.  Like my best friend said, you restate here.  It is really abiding.  It's like I know, but then this just alludes me at times.  Ugh.  Rest, rest, rest is harder than work, work, work for me.  What a shame.



#8 ADVRider

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Posted 07 October 2015 - 07:02 AM

Candice,

 

I've been put on the shelf for much of my saved life. But I've also learned the sense of waiting for God through it. Also with that, I have learned that if I try to do something "spiritual" on my own, some "work" for God that I could do for God, it would be fruitless.

 

A part of the process of growth we all undergo is learning who we are in God; and who we are not. It is so human to compare ourselves with others and be tempted to act out what we see others "do." But that is a trap we all have to resist. You may even find well-meaning friends push you in the direction of "doing something  for God" when God is basically telling you to sit still. It takes discernment and dialogue with the Lord to overcome these natural desires for "something" to be happening. We all struggle with this. But over time, you do begin (hopefully) to know who you are and find your place in God. When that begins to take hold in our lives, then we are still enough to hear the voice and be led. That kind of activity, Spirit-led, produces the fruit, but our own frenetic activity produces 0. So ask to learn how to be still, knowing that it is perfectly okay to be in that place. We are not in a spiritual contest with each other.   


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#9 Candice

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Posted 08 October 2015 - 11:59 AM

Candice,
 
I've been put on the shelf for much of my saved life. But I've also learned the sense of waiting for God through it. Also with that, I have learned that if I try to do something "spiritual" on my own, some "work" for God that I could do for God, it would be fruitless.
 
A part of the process of growth we all undergo is learning who we are in God; and who we are not. It is so human to compare ourselves with others and be tempted to act out what we see others "do." But that is a trap we all have to resist. You may even find well-meaning friends push you in the direction of "doing something  for God" when God is basically telling you to sit still. It takes discernment and dialogue with the Lord to overcome these natural desires for "something" to be happening. We all struggle with this. But over time, you do begin (hopefully) to know who you are and find your place in God. When that begins to take hold in our lives, then we are still enough to hear the voice and be led. That kind of activity, Spirit-led, produces the fruit, but our own frenetic activity produces 0. So ask to learn how to be still, knowing that it is perfectly okay to be in that place. We are not in a spiritual contest with each other.



Yes. Very true. I'll keep these truths close to my heart and re-read these responses as good reminders. Waiting is hard. But as Meema suggested, there are many small ways and I believe we may not be aware of how we are used commonly daily

#10 ADVRider

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Posted 08 October 2015 - 12:47 PM

But as Meema suggested, there are many small ways and I believe we may not be aware of how we are used commonly daily

 

That is true, and the important thing to remember is these things are the natural outflow of our being in Christ, who we are in Christ. There is no effort because it comes from who we are. It should be like breathing as opposed to hyper-ventilating. This is the place of ceasing from our own labor where Jesus said His yoke was easy as opposed to another kind of yoke. And also, when there is no ministry going on, we understand that there is nothing wrong with us.


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#11 Candice

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Posted 08 October 2015 - 02:30 PM

That is true, and the important thing to remember is these things are the natural outflow of our being in Christ, who we are in Christ. There is no effort because it comes from who we are. It should be like breathing as opposed to hyper-ventilating. This is the place of ceasing from our own labor where Jesus said His yoke was easy as opposed to another kind of yoke. And also, when there is no ministry going on, we understand that there is nothing wrong with us.

Yes!  Thanks ADVrider.  It's like one preacher says, "how well you stand depends upon how well you sit (rest) in Christ."  As this is outline in Ephesians for us. This is true, but I'm a "doer", part of a long line of the "doer family" heritage!  Ugh.



#12 ADVRider

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Posted 08 October 2015 - 02:43 PM

Yes!  Thanks ADVrider.  It's like one preacher says, "how well you stand depends upon how well you sit (rest) in Christ."  As this is outline in Ephesians for us. This is true, but I'm a "doer", part of a long line of the "doer family" heritage!  Ugh.

Exactly why collecting seashells may have intrinsic value. There are many things we can still do and the Lord takes delight.


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#13 Charles Miles

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Posted 13 October 2015 - 09:56 AM

I have been away for several days without a chance to read the posts here, but as I now read the posts in this thread, I see how blessed we are to have
people on here who know the Lord! When we reflect upon the things we actually control and can do something about, the list is very, very small. Maybe one of the hardest things for some of us to do is to "wait on the Lord" to see what He has for us. Maybe our place at the present time is to study God`s word, pray, and meditate on the majesty of God. Can this be done while walking on the beach watching for shells? Probably. Often we want to charge into the heat of battle, wave swords, and attempt to be "Christian soldiers", when we need to be putting on the whole armor of God in preparation for an upcoming battle that we don`t even see yet.
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#14 Candice

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Posted 13 October 2015 - 01:34 PM

Thanks Charles for your sage response!!



#15 Meema

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 03:32 AM

Just one more thing to add. This book review was posted this morning in a blog I follow. It seemed to address this topic in a way that resonates with me.

 

https://michelemorin...n-to-adventure/

 

“Most of us will make a difference in this world, but not because of some grand or large-scale initiative.  No, most of us will change our corner of the world and make an impact that stands the test of time through the small and seemingly insignificant [to us] interactions and decisions and conversations of our average days.  We make a difference where we live, and incrementally, that place begins to shift.”


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#16 Charles Miles

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 10:17 AM

Recently we had an elderly lady who was a church member pass away.  She was a nice lady and even though she attended church with us, she didn`t seem to give much money or time to the church here.  Well, when her will was probated, she had given pretty big sums of money to the local orphanage, developed a fund at the hospital to decrease drug costs for people who just couldn`t pay, and had gone to a few churches across the state to help them in hard times. As an elder, I had known this lady for years, but certainly didn`t know all that she was involved in with the Church.

 

I bring this up just to say that maybe we don`t understand all we need to know about someone`s life, and certainly we should not make any statements about a life being "wasted".  Granted, most of our church members would have said this lady was only "holding down a pew" every Sunday, but actually, she was living anything BUT a wasted life.  Only the Lord knows what is in a person`s heart and He will be the judge. I am reminded of the story of "the widow`s mite" but with a twist....What if the rich man had given his large gift in private and the widow made a big deal out of giving her small amount.

 

Just some thoughts.

 

In Christ,

 

Charlie


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#17 Fireweed Trekker

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 01:53 PM

Candace I don't remember the Bible translator/missionary in Burma in the 1800's. But what I remember is that while he worked there for 20+ years, his sister in England prayed for him daily all those years; she was bedridden the entire time.

If anyone know their names please post them. 


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B?  & C?
 


#18 Candice

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Posted 22 October 2015 - 02:18 PM

Candace I don't remember the Bible translator/missionary in Burma in the 1800's. But what I remember is that while he worked there for 20+ years, his sister in England prayed for him daily all those years; she was bedridden the entire time.

If anyone know their names please post them. 

I've heard something like this before but don't remember wh it was....interesting, and yes, prayer is probably more important than many other works.



#19 Kevin Blankenship

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Posted 31 October 2015 - 10:56 AM

Candace, I have been having those thoughts lately!!!! It's amazing that you could put what I was feeling....into the exact words. It is of some comfort to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. I'm sorry that I don't have anything to add to the other's replies.....as  I am still swimming my way to the surface.  EXTREMELY good thread!!!! Thanks Candace, for sharing your heart for it has touched mine.


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#20 ADVRider

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Posted 01 November 2015 - 08:54 PM

Ever heard this poem? I've only heard the refrain, "Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last." So I Iooked it up and saw that it was much longer. It is very good and I think captures the essence of "not wasting our life." From the perspective of this poem, how we see our life and how God sees it, could be very different. If we are in God and after God, this is the main thing. It is not in what (or how much) we do that we have a full life, it's in how full we are with God that we can do anything of eternal value. He will then do the works He desires through that fullness of Himself in us. And, when we follow the Lord, Whose life is it anyway? Does not our life belong to Him?

 

In a recent time of worship and fellowship, I felt the Lord say to me, "I've got your life planned out," letting me know He is aware of my questions and concerns about the road ahead. Letting me know (once again) I don't have to figure it out or "do stuff" as "filler." Waiting is hard, but the Lord will give you an answer if you ask Him what's going on and don't act out of presumption, i.e., get ahead of God. If God hasn't yet spoken further or led you in some area of your life that you believe He put on your heart earlier, it is probably just not time. Or similarly, some person (maybe us) or set of circumstances are just not right yet. Think about the Jesus Rolex thread; God's timing is always kairos, not chronos. The gospels show Jesus lived His earthly life in this manner. It's what we need to learn to do as well. It's hard, but the more we can do this, the less we'll be concerned about "wasting our life," because we'll begin to focus less on "the clock" and more on "God appointments." Another thing I felt the Lord say to my heart was to the effect of, "I really desire or want your fellowship more than any works." I find this idea is also in this poem.

 

“Two little lines I heard one day,
Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart,
And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Only one life, yes only one,
Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet,
And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Only one life, the still small voice,
Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave,
And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Only one life, a few brief years,
Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill,
living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

When this bright world would tempt me sore,
When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way,
Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Give me Father, a purpose deep,
In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife,
Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Oh let my love with fervor burn,
And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone,
Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.

 

Only one life, yes only one,
Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call,
I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”

 

— extra stanza —

Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be,
If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee.”
C.T Studd


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