It is hard to believe that a three year-old child can make a decision that affects not only his own life but also has an effect on the lives of others. Certainly, I was born with strong carnality, having a very selfish desire and extremely strong will to do as I pleased, and had little care whether anyone liked it or not. While I do not remember the exact date, I do remember that it was a Sunday night that I made up my mind that I wished to live like the people who did not attend the church that I was being brought up in. I wanted to smoke, drink, dance, play cards, gamble, watch TV, play ball, go to the movies (drugs came later), and not live a life tied down by all the old fogey ways.
God, in His great love allowed me to go the way I chose. Looking back, I remember times that it had to be the voice of the Lord speaking to me. Once, sitting on the deck of my cabin home overlooking a beautiful lake, I was drunk, stoned, and having a cigarette, when suddenly a thought came into mind, “You know, it seems like, Christians, real Christians, have something more to live for, a future that is more real than money, sex, and a roaring good time of debauchery, hangovers, and an empty bank account.” A few years later I met a really pretty lady and shortly after we were married.
Time passed and there were 2 children in our home (4½ & 6 months). Again, I was in my usual messed up condition on a Saturday afternoon. My wife had gone to the grocery store and I was with our 2 boys when suddenly, as if someone walked into the room and spoke, I heard a question, “Look at yourself! Do you want you 2 children to grow up to be like you?” I was so stunned I did not respond and again, what seemed like an audible voice, asked the same question again. This time, I thought, no, I do not want that to happen.
Well, nearly 5 years went by and I continued on my merry way, my beautiful wife and kids putting up with me. Plus my faithful mother also prayed for me daily, even several times each day, and asked all she knew to pray for me also. My dad died when I was 10 years old and as an only child, my mother’s focus was constantly my salvation. At last, I picked up and began to read a book my mother had given me entitled, ‘A Disciple Named Arthur’ by Lavena Crooks. God had been working on me for a while and as I began to read about this man’s life, the Lord showed me myself.
It didn’t take long and I was desirous of God changing my ways, but I felt like I did not know how to pray, and couldn’t come to God without knowing how. Finally, after going to church quite a lot with my wife, kids, and mother for some time, I decided we should attend a Christmas service put on by a Bible School at the church we were attending. There was a skit about no room in the inn for Jesus to be born in, but all I saw was me not allowing room in my life for Jesus. At the conclusion of that service my mind was made up, I would serve God one way or another. I didn’t know whether my wife and kids would leave me or stay, but I had reached a point I was going to go with God, no matter the consequences.
I asked the pastor if I could visit with him and he and his wife invited my wife and I to their home, where, even though I still felt as if I knew not how to pray, I kneeled down and said, “God, whoever you are, Jesus, Holy Spirit or whatever, I want you if you will take me,” and in my mind’s eye I saw a man walking toward me with open arms saying, “I will take you.”
That was a Monday night and I could hardly wait for Wednesday night service to tell everyone what had happened to me, but Wednesday night was Christmas Eve and the Church Board had voted to not have church that night. We were headed out of state for the weekend to see my wife’s family, so, I thought next Wednesday night I will tell everyone, but when we got back I found that again a decision had been made to not have Wednesday night service because it was New Year’s Eve. That night, after not smoking, drinking, or drugging for over a week, I was so disappointed that about 8:00 – 8:30 p.m. I went to the closest store, got a 12 pack of beer, some wine coolers, for my wife, and 2 packs of cigarettes for myself.
I was back where I was before, but the following day, I told the Lord that the next time I was in church and an altar call was made, I would go, pray and get it settled. We didn’t go to all the services, but on Sunday night March 1, 1998 a man asked at the end of the special song if he could come and pray, and as the pastor asked if there was anyone else, another lady on the opposite side of the church went to pray, and the Lord said to me, “Well?” and I kept my promise and He kept His, and He forgave me of my sins that night. My wife also prayed that night, and my 86 year old mother who had prayed for me for 46 years shouted for the first and only time that I know of, jumping up and down in joy as I let go of sin and found Jesus.
The conclusion of my story is that the very next day, while our kids set the evening dinner table, and my mother stood at the stove preparing a meal for us all, God called her home. My wife, standing just a couple of feet away, said she was in mid-sentence and just stopped, falling over backward as Jesus came for her soul. Today, our boys are grown, both living in FL and God called my wife and I into the ministry. We pastor a church in southwest Missouri, and cannot thank the Lord enough for all that He has done for us.