Just musing aloud here: There is, inside of me, the knowledge that I COULD be more consecrated to God and for God......if I WANTED that.
There is a fact about me that I have been aware of for some time. If I WANT something.....I will GET it, (or DO it, or HAVE it).
So I have changed my praying lately. "God, I WANT the deeper and more fully consecrated life with YOU" BUT........I also want to play with my toys and watch my favorite TV shows. (A few months ago I purchased one of those ROKU boxes that plug into one's TV and allows him/her to get British TV, and other countries TV. Lately, I have been watching:"AlL Things Great and Small" based on a book by famed veterinarian James Herriot. It's a wonderfully simple TV show, made in the 70's and 80's based on the life of this Vet and his adventures and misadventures in the Yorkshire Dales. Very very interesting and it gets me out of this house for an hour or two each day (in my mind). But if I don't watch it, I'll spend the majority of my free time watching past episodes because it is so easy to just sit there and watch. I glance over at my Bible from time to time and a pang hits me and the thought: "You KNOW what you SHOULD be doing."
Today's Tozer Devotion (4/14/14) really hit me between the eyes. There was a time when I couln't be pried away from my old Christian books. My Thomas Manton series (a Puritan), all of my Tozer collection, my Andrew Murray collection, etc etc etc etc. But my interest has waned.
But I KNOW now that my "WANT TO-er" has been taken captive and I aim on getting it back. My prayer today is for God to make me want to WANT HIM more than anything else this world can afford. There is SO MUCH stuff in the world that can take up the time of a bored person. And I recognize the solid fact that I'm a prime target for these little escapades because of my situation and because of my personality (defects). But I use them as NO EXCUSE. I KNOW that GOD will rescue me.
I prayed VERY earnestly that God would cause me to lose interest in a couple of hobbies which where taking up ALOT of my time. He answered those prayers.
Since TODAY is the day of salvation.......I will start TODAY at developing the good reading abs praying habits that are conducive to a good, rock-solid walk with Jesus. (I'll let ya know how it goes this evening). God gave SO MUCH. I give SO LITTLE. But this is not yet merely another self deprecating post, but an "accountability" post. I am using y'all as my accountability group. Hope ya don't mind. Thanks. Kevin Blankenship