The surrendered life?
Posted 14 October 2012 - 09:57 PM
But now I find that I have just traded one addiction for another. I spend the majority of my free time doing things that I enjoy......hunting, metal detecting, etc etc. I find that I experience the most joy when I have a new metal detector, or bow, or some other 'toy' headed my way on the UPS truck. And then, when I get it, the joy quickly subsides. So I have a bunch of toys, and yet none of them give me joy. I went meatl detecting yesterday (Saturday) and found a couple of old relics and coins, but I was not excited about it at all. In fact, i felt all "BLAH" about it. And then, when I read my Bible, I come across the verse where Jesus says: "If any man will come after me, let him......" And I really think that I am totally guilty of NOT taking up my cross. Paul said: "If we have food and clothes, let us be content with that." I read scriptures like that and they cut me like a knife. I then start struggling with the Predestination thing. "Maybe you are NOT one of the ones that is supposed to get saved.", I reason to myself. I then get angry at the whole Calvinistic way of thinking. But the way I am is not their fault.
I am just a lazy carnal Christian. That is, if I have really had a true conversion. There are days when I am absolutely positive about my salvation and I am absolutely certain that " the blood of Jesus purifies me from all sin.". And that certainty brings a joyful, victorious feeling. And then there are periods of time when I feel like I feel now. Like Paul said: "Oh wretched man that I am!!! Who will deliver me from the body of this death??" And for some reason the verse that follows just doesn't comfort me. I hope that I haven't bummed anybody out.
I am my mother's full time caregiver since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I don't get to get out an socialize like normal people would. I'm not sure that I would want to even if I could. I feel so out of sorts right now. I think that I should have posted this in the prayer requests forum. Moderators, please feel free to move it. Now that I think about it....this certainly doesn't belong in the Deeper Life forum. My Christianity feels so shallow and weak right now. Good night to everyone.
Posted 15 October 2012 - 01:24 AM
God is working in your life! You are going through refinement, Jesus illuminates truths to us as we can perceive them. I think it is good that you have hobbies you enjoy, but the Lord is showing you He is your greatest joy and knowing Him never gives you that let down. He is our riches, our esteem, our future. We were made by Him and for Him. Our goal here is to let Jesus live through us.
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
James 1:2â€“4 (ESV)
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
The Lord has you my brother, just be open to what the Lord puts in front of you. Thank you for caring for you mother, that uplifts my heart and I know you have come along way. Blessings Betsy
- Charles Miles likes this
Posted 15 October 2012 - 05:14 AM
I have awaken feeling some better about everything. I will strive today to live a holy and separated life unto God. Realizing that HE Who began a good work in me, will complete it. And too: "Count it all joy, brethren, when you suffer divers temptations.....etc etc"
Plus, the scripture in Hebrews (cannot remember the address) where it states that the discipline of the Lord......is good for bringing about the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
I appreciate your kind reply. I just feel like I am bearing zeron fruit in the kingdom and I want to start being of some use.
Posted 15 October 2012 - 09:14 AM
Do not dispair while you seek! You are in a great position to develop a close relationship with the Father, and if you persevere, I envy you for the revelations headed your way. "Seek and you shall find" "Knock and the door will be opened to you" Both of these statements are true, but be sure that the seeking and knocking are continuous, deep, earnest, soul searching, prayerful, times. Anything as precious as the relationship with God the Father is worth spending time to obtain. Peace be with you,
- elizabethcog and chipped china like this
Posted 15 October 2012 - 09:24 AM
Grace and peace,
- Lori Smith, elizabethcog and chipped china like this
Posted 15 October 2012 - 03:08 PM
- Julie Daube, elizabethcog and chipped china like this
Posted 15 October 2012 - 03:31 PM
Posted 15 October 2012 - 06:36 PM
I'm sorry to hear the devil is giving you a hard time. He can make us feel so worthless at times. He'll take one little piece of imperfection and magnify it till we are in despair. I praise God that Jesus saves us because of His goodness not our own. If you want to spend more time with Jesus, that's a good thing. Indeed, it's progress ... we are always growing. Maybe you could talk to Jesus while you hunt for treasure. Indeed, it sounds like a great way to spend time with Him. One other thing ... to have more of God's love is not about working harder, it's about trusting Him more. It's about accepting His view of us, His love. He came for sinners, not for the righteous; and He also came for the whosoevers (John 3:16). That's everyone who calls upon His name. You have called upon His name so you are saved.
Blessings Brother, I'll be praying for you.
- Julie Daube and chipped china like this
Posted 15 October 2012 - 07:22 PM
- Julie Daube, Lori Smith, Charles Miles and 1 other like this
Posted 15 October 2012 - 07:27 PM
We are your family! It sounds like you and God have a beautiful relationship. One day we will worship Him side by side for eternity!!
Love in Jesus,
- Julie Daube and elizabethcog like this
Posted 16 October 2012 - 07:29 AM
I commend you on careing for your mother and all the time and heartache involved, but my commendation means nothing. God sees a careing heart, a willingness to serve, and many other things invisible to us here. May God bless you Kevin, and I know He will.......you only have to ask. I know I have and will continue to ask Him for you.
- elizabethcog likes this
Posted 16 October 2012 - 08:39 AM
God bless your work as a care giver...my wife and I are following a similar path helping her mom who had a stroke a little more than a year ago. It is a journey to be sure, and there are days my wife and I cry out to Jesus to help us. We sometimes question His care, His plan, His mercy. But this we know for sure...He is in this somewhere. Keep the faith my brother.
Posted 16 October 2012 - 12:40 PM
I know my UPS driver by name and have visited with him many times! So I know what you are describing. I don't have a wife to elbow me in the ribs when I think of a new toy, but the Lord can do that too. Sounds like he is doing that to you just now. I don't have much to add, but as the Lord calls on your heart for your time and attention, make the attempt to respond. I don't think there is anything wrong with our hobbies and interests, so long as they are not priority number one. When that starts to happen, the emptiness that such imbalance brings to our hearts begins to get loud. So just ask the Lord to help you shift the balance back to him. There is no condemnation so don't accept that. Just ask the Lord to help you to do your part, and then just do it.
On an opposite note, I remember one time after taking a big step of obedience (that had brought me to a new place of faith), the Lord actually very quietly told me to get a new toy (guitar) that I had thought about. Two times in two weeks. It was so subtle that I almost missed it, and I still doubted it. (I would have completely missed it were it not for the fact that I was in a quiet place and a place of faith in my life where I was hearing him somewhat clearly. Or maybe he was just speaking a lot.) Anyway, my conditioned response was that this was just a stray thought because God would certainly not care about such trivial things as me spending money on myself. I mean, who needs a word for that, seeing we do it all the time? On Friday of the second week, I went to what you could call a "prophetic meeting," I know....but it was real and God spoke through people who did not know me. One thing led to another and a total stranger wrote a check for $500 for me to buy a guitar, even after I told her I had the money! She said God told her and she would not relent. So God gave me a guitar even after I thought it was just my selfish desire to have it. I was pretty blown away by the goodness and love of God and was actually more blessed to realize I had heard the Lord, than to actually get the instrument.
So what is the point in all this? It is not the things we have or the things we do, it's just where is the Lord in all of it? He knows we are flesh and has made provisiion for that through the blood and the Holy Spirit. Now it's your turn brother; just draw near because it is clear you do love him. He'll do all the rest and you will have rest.
- chipped china likes this
Posted 16 October 2012 - 02:27 PM
Anyway, I have everything in order around the house and am going to an old homeplace to metal detect a while. I really don't care if I find anything or not. As long as I find that pearl of great price. Love y'all. Kevin
- Lori Smith, elizabethcog, Charles Miles and 1 other like this
Posted 17 October 2012 - 02:26 AM
- Lori Smith and Charles Miles like this